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My Nightmare With Molly

I will probably never forget that nightmare of a night, I spent with Molly. I was young, I was reckless, I was suicidal. I lived by myself and was going through a rough patch in my life. Molly sounded like fun. It sounded exciting and adventurous, but also dangerous….And that she was.

She lured me to believe, she was pure and harmless, where instead she was a hurricane slowly approaching, to fully destroy. I met Molly on St. Marks PL in the East Village. A hot summer night that couldn’t get to waste. First, some drinks to ease up and break the ice. 

Hot and sweaty and a few hours later; Molly and I went home. First, a half and then a whole, Molly and I watched the room get lighter and sounds become clearer. You feel as light as a feather, everything seems completely different. 

Colors seem more colorful, you have no control of your emotions, your senses are so sensitive, it’s overwhelming. The room becomes bigger and smaller like you are Alice In Wonderland

Everybody is attractive. Everything is pretty. Your life is not dull anymore, at least as long as you are with Molly. 

Ten Hours later, with no sleep. You look like a zombie and feel like one. Molly has left the building, but her entity is still around hunting you. 

You feel groggy, you are exhausted and tired. But you can’t find sleep. Your heart rate is up, you pupils are large, your skin is grey and dry because you haven’t had a drop of water since more than ten hours. 

Apathetic, you take a walk and wander the streets. You are there, but you are not. Your mind has clearly checked out. You feel shittier than ever before. 

Your life seems to be hopeless and even more a hot mess than before Molly entered your life. 

Home again, you cry. You cry for no reason. You cry because you feel lonely and empty. You go to work the next day, but things are still the same as yesterday. 

Molly might have cursed you with misfortune, you think. You feel irritable and anxious, you hate your job and your life. You want to scream and run free. You want to run from yourself more than ever and hide.

Home again, you cry again. Your start writing a suicide note and send it to the guy you are deeply in love with. Your FB status overflows with depressing updates on how you feel and about life in general. You feel so dead inside and suicidal. You have it all planned out. You are so ready to end your misery.

Three days later, you are still here but still feeling depressed and lonely. While Molly is partying again somewhere else and destroying someone else’s life or accidentally killing someone, you are trying to put the pieces together of your shambled life. Molly, you weren’t worth my pain.