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Confessions Of a Future Grad Student

“Dreamer: never let it be said that to dream is a waste of one’s time, for dreams are our realities in waiting. In dreams, we plant the seeds of our future.” 

The future can be intimidating yet exhilarating all at the same time. Not knowing what to expect scares the hell out of you, but taking action in turning your ambitions into existence makes it all seem worth it. 

You literally spend the first half of your life discovering who you are, deciding where it is you want to be, and distinguishing what exactly it is that you want to make of yourself. It isn’t easy – but it’s worth it. 

So here you are, you’ve finally figured the first half of it all out (or so you like to think). You’re roughly a year away from grad school and the thought of it seems far more surreal than saying in less than 10 years you’ll be thirty! Life has flown by and each passing year only passes by faster than the year before. 

You’ve made it this far, but does that mean you’re fearless? Absolutely not. You still question yourself and wonder if you’re REALLY ready for the next big step in your educational future. 

The future is literally right around the corner, and I’ll be the first to admit that this has been one long and exhausting journey. 

Am I sure of where I want to be and where I’m headed?
Have I taken all of the classes I need to properly educate myself?
What if this whole time I’ve lied to myself and this isn’t really what I want?
What if my thoughts of how the future will be are a lot better than what it actually is?
What if I’m not successful?
What if I’ve wasted all these years?
What if I don’t make anything of myself?
What if no one is willing to hire me and help me begin a career?

These are just a handful of questions I find myself flashing through my mind. Confessing these to myself is hard enough, and bumping them out is even harder. Reminding myself that thoughts like these are normal is an enduring process, but who is honestly going to want to admit any of these to anyone (or yourself even)?

Transitioning from high school to college is exciting, adventurous, and forever petrifying. But college to grad school? That’s supposed to be not-so-heavy on the nerves, right? Eh, well, that can be put in question. 

Truthfully, I think the nerves are on two totally different lengths. Beginning grad school means that you can literally see the future and that all of the anxiousness you’ve built up for years and years is clearly in plain sight right in front of you. 

What I’ve come to realize is just this: you may not be ready for grad school, but grad school is ready for you. You’ve come this far for a reason. 

Like Dory says, “just keep swimming.” Keep swimming until you reach the top, conquer grad school and tackle the future. 

“This is the beginning of anything you want.”