Being clumsy is hard. Your friends never trust you with anything, you’ve constantly got cuts and bruises from the dumbest accidents, and there’s a good chance that you’ll walk into something today.
There are times when you feel like the universe is just working against you. Here are some of the struggles that you face on a daily basis:
- You are shamed into drinking out of a mug when everyone else is drinking out of long-stemmed, crystal glasses.
- And then you spill and break the mug anyways.
- You can’t buy anything white.
- In fact you’re not allowed to even walk near anything white.
- Shout, and Mr. Clean are your best friends.
- Stationary objects can be dangerous.
- And tripping over your own feet is definitely a thing.
- Elegant is just not a look that you can pull off.
- After a meal, you’ll most likely need to change your shirt.
- Putting eye drops in your eyes is an impossible task.
- Every manicure you’ve ever gotten is ruined within 2 hours.
- Uneven sidewalks are just wrong.
- Exercise balls, skateboards, and anything that requires balance, are things that will simply never be for you.
- People never believe your injury story.
- So you lie and come up with a cooler one.
- Your friends have a video collection of you doing stupid shit.
- And they’ve made memes out of your photos.
- You - drunk - is just scary.
- Especially if you’re wearing heels.
- And when you’re not drunk, everyone thinks that you are.
- You - excited - is even scarier.
- Someone is bound to get smacked, wacked, or bumped.
- But your friends love you anyways.
- And you’ve fully embraced your spastic-self like a boss.
Sign up for the Pucker Mob Women’s News Email Newsletter
powered by ArcaMax