You’re young, you’re fun, but you make mistakes. Some nights might get a little out of hand, but nothing you can’t handle.
But you obviously have your standards, because, after all, you’re classy as fuck.
- You always drink boxed wine...
- From the box to your mouth. Who needs a glass when there's a spout?
- And you have champagne for any occasion that requires you to wear a dress and heels.
- Because nothing says “class” like a $15 bottle of champagne, amiright?
- “Dressed up to get messed up” is your motto.
- You never dance on any raised surface.
- Especially if you’re in a dress or skirt.
- And you always wear underwear.
- You are so excited about the Chambong.
- Because champagne glass bong > plastic funnels.
- You never have a walk of shame because you're proud AF.
- ...And because they always pay for your uber or drive you home.
- You never spill your drinks.
- You don’t wait in line because your name is always on the list or you know the bouncer.
- Even though it’s for that kinda sh*tty dive bar down the street.
- You never wear a bra as a top.
- Except for festivals, mixers, or themed parties.
- AKA the only times it’s actually acceptable.
- You don’t wear Uggs.
- If you’re drinking in public, it’s in a Starbucks cup or tumbler.
- Brown paper bags are for the homeless.
- You never throw up from drinking too much.
- ...In public.
- And even though you always know your limit, you may or may not cross that line on occasion.
- Even when you know that one more jäger bomb is gonna push you over the edge.
- You never cuss.
- …Except when you do, let’s be real, they totally fucking deserved it.