Nobody ever enters friendships expecting to be betrayed. Friends are supposed to be people that you can rely on, so we expect little to no judgment from them.
A romantic relationship, on the other hand, is a little more complex: it's accepted that letting your guard down and showing your “true self” takes time.
In essence, it’s far easier to fall into a friendship than it is to fall in love. Friendship feels safer and more comfortable, it's the type of connection that enhances you as an individual.
It’s supposed to be OK to think of friendships as “forever” from the get-go. Friendships don’t send you through a whirlwind of arduous emotions and sleepless nights, they just feel good. (Or they should, anyway.)
Letting you into my life felt natural. We quickly bonded over our wit and vulgar senses of humor.
This bond evolved into a friendship that felt like it was written in the stars and planned by the universe itself. We were truly inseparable.
You were the first to know the highs and lows of my life and I would sit attentively as you told me about the skeletons in your family’s closets.
We put aside all prejudices in these moments and I trusted you completely, without hesitation or abandon.
So when you deceived me, I surrendered and succumbed to my disappointment. My heart became smaller, my soul froze, and my body numbed.
I became afraid to allow new platonic relationships into my life, rather than just romantic.
However, after some time, I was able to focus on the other faithful friendships I had maintained before we met.
I realized that not every friendship requires relentless attachment. We don’t need to share every detail of our life with someone in order to trust them.
I forgave you, if only to find peace within myself so I could open up to the true friendships I needed and deserved.
But, our relationship would never again reach a sense of normalcy—I remained cordial, but always aware of your capacity for harm.
I not only survived your betrayal but the temporary pessimism and broken sense of self that you left me with.
I didn't deserve what you did to me, but more importantly, I didn't deserve to suffer the outcome.
Since then, those feelings (and you) have been replaced with new and genuine friendships and a more intuitive eye for good people.