While shopping the other day arm in arm and giggling, my boyfriend and I were asked how long we had been together and dating.
I quickly replied to the cashier with a smile, “Oh not that long, just three months!" Her face instantly became completely blank and seemingly without blinking she looked at me and said, “That’s kind of quick to be all over each other."
It was true. We had been dating for around three months and the immediate reaction from most people was, “Now, take your time," or, “Don’t rush into anything." It was like people were trying to tell me that this happiness would pass if I just went full throttle into the relationship.
It was a way of looking out for me, but it might have been the wrong advice.
In every relationship we have - whether it be friends, relatives, or over - we compare. We compare the length of the relationship with our friends’ relationships. We compare how many dates we go on before we say the three-word bomb, “I love you."
We compare the supposed happiness of others in cute couple selfies that we see on Instagram and Facebook.
But we conveniently forget about our own happiness when comparing our own relationships to those that we see as “perfect." We set up timelines that may or may not be conducive to our own happiness.
We say, “I love you" when we think the other person is ready for it, but we don’t simply just say it when we feel it.
Living by guidelines that we think society has for our personal and romantic relationships impedes growth in a relationship and doesn’t allow for true honesty.
Before deciding if a relationship is moving too fast for you, don’t think of it as a romantic relationship.
We would never think of a friendship we have with our girl bff or our sister as “moving too fast" so don’t put unwanted pressure on yourself if you think that the relationship isn’t normal. No relationship is the same and no matter how many Insta couple pics you see, you’ll never find a pair that will match you and your boo thing.
So define your own normal.
If the two of you have an instant Romeo-Juliet type connection, (minus their tragic ending) let it rock. Don’t think that just because your best friend said, “I love you," to her man after six months, that you are rushing the relationship into ruin if you feel that way after two months.
People always overlook the fact that there are no rules when it comes to love. There’s just being comfortable and honest enough to say how you feel.
With that being said, don’t overthink it. There are so many things we overthink, and relationships are definitely numero uno. Stop.
In order to have a successful partnership with the person you love, you have to be willing to just be yourself in the relationship.
Never second guess your actions based on time because it might be the exact same way your lover is feeling.
Know that, even if you fear being vulnerable or nervous about your feelings, honest communication is key to accurately knowing where your relationship is going.
As we left the store, I realized that, even though the cashier was confused by the quick pace of our relationship, she did at first recognize our visible happiness.
And no matter if it’s been fifty years or three months, we all need our other half to make our happiness grow.