It’s easy to point out the reasons why a relationship becomes toxic or if it’s no longer a good situation to be in. There are automatic “red flags” or “triggers” that just jump out at you.
But maybe what we should focus on more though what a healthy relationship looks like. Maybe we need to open up our eyes to what good looks like to really understand what the ideal relationship is.
1. You’re always building each other up.
When you finally find the person you are supposed to be with, you won't be able to help but work very hard to encourage each other and bring that person up when they're feeling down.
Nothing hurts you more than seeing them struggle...it just breaks you. So you'll do anything you can to make life a little less bumpy for them.
2. Trusting them isn't a challenge.
You don’t need to constantly know where he or who he's with. When he tells you he's going somewhere or doing something, you don’t need to question him.
There isn’t a need to give the other person “the benefit of the doubt” because that doubt doesn’t exist. You sleep easy on the nights he gets home late, and never wonder what he's up to. When you ask questions, it's just because you want to know if he had a good time.
3. You don't dive off of a cliff jumping to conclusions.
You don’t automatically assume something negative is going to happen. You don’t assume that if plans fall through it’s because he doesn’t want to see you. You don’t automatically assume that when he doesn’t respond to your text that he wants to break up with you.
You don’t automatically assume there is something wrong in the relationship, you just understand that he's an individual with his own thoughts, feelings, moods, and needs.
4. He doesn't need to constantly reassure you that everything is okay.
You don’t need to ask your partner if everything is okay between the two of you because you’re mature enough in your relationship to talk about it when you feel like things are going wrong.
You don’t let things bottle up and worry if your relationship is rocky, you communicate.
5. There isn’t guessing involved when it comes to their feelings for you.
There aren’t any games you know if he's into you or isn’t. He never leaves you wanting or needing love and affection.
There isn’t a hidden agenda to figure out, you get to put down your notebook and stop trying to decode him because he's honest with how he feels about you.
6. You’re not scared they're going to hurt you.
We’ve all had those relationships where we are just bracing for the end, where we are automatically guarded and waiting for the worst. With him, you don’t do this because you know that the person you’re with would never imagine hurting you that way.
7. It’s natural.
It’s so simple being with him, that at times almost as easy as breathing. You have a harder time deciding what to eat or what kind of coffee you want than figuring out your relationship.
You don’t have to try when you’re together. You’re not constantly trying to impress him. You’re comfortable being in the same room with him but doing completely separate things, silence isn’t awkward and you can just be yourself.
8. You 're with him because you want to be.
You aren’t with him because you’re dependent on him. You want to spend time with him because it brings you joy. You’re not with him because you need to be, you’re with them because you want to be. You know you can survive without him but having him makes your life better.
9. You aren’t trying to change each other.
Everyone has flaws, everyone has their own annoying quirks and everyone’s level of maturity can be different but you’re not wishing he changes for you. You’re happy with who he is now.
In an unhealthy relationship, you'd wake up wishing he’d change, but in yours? You’re just happy waking up next to him.
10. You never feel like he's hiding anything from you.
There isn’t a need for a wall or to give just little bits of himself to you. There aren’t little snippets that come out because he's been “hurt too badly in the past” or “is afraid of commitment,” you get him in his entirety.
11. You can be completely honest with them and not be scared.
He may laugh at you or have comments on your opinions but you don’t have to hold your tongue. You know he is going to listen to you and respect the things that you have to say.
12. There are more good days than bad.
You get along more than you fight. Yes, every couple will argue and you will have disagreements but you always work them out.
You get annoyed with each other, but in a healthy relationship the majority of the time you spend together you get along. You’re not constantly holding your breath in order to stop the next argument.
13. His friends are your friends, and yours are his.
You actually want to spend time with each other’s friends and you genuinely want to get to know them. You learn about the things they like and often times they start to become people you call your own friends.
14. Talking about the future is fun.
The future can be scary, but once you find the person that you’re the most comfortable with, it’s okay to start having these talks.
It's normal to talk about where your relationship is going and what you want with your future and where you see this person in that story. He never makes you feel weird about it. In fact, he talks about his future with you in it, too.
15. You two are a package deal, and everyone knows and embraces it.
Most times, when you get invited to things he gets invited as well, and it goes vice versa. It just makes sense that people know that you spend a lot of your free time together. It doesn’t mean that you can’t go places by yourself, you just have that much more fun when he's around.
16. However, you both still have lives outside of each other.
He isn't the only person in your life ad he isn't the center of your universe. You realize that you don’t always need to be together.
There will be times that you can’t be together, there will be activities you both won’t want to do, and there will be times he'll want to hang with his friends. You know that it doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with your relationship, it's just what balance is.
17. If he doesn't text you back, you don’t automatically start freaking out.
You don’t start overthinking everything, you don’t automatically assume "this is it, he's leaving me for someone else and I must be the worst partner in the world."
You're calm and collected and you realize there is usually a good reason for no response.
18. He just brings out the best you.
There isn’t a reason to conform to what you think they want, you don’t have to put on a front to impress them. There's full support for whatever you're doing in life without judgment. Just the same, you stand by him when he's trying to fulfill his goals and dreams.
You want to do better, to be better, because you have that person in your life.
19. You're each other's best friends.
In a healthy relationship, you aren’t just lovers, you’re friends as well. He's a confidant when you need to talk to someone, usually one of the first people you want to tell something exciting to and have your back when you need them.
20. Your relationship only gets stronger with time.
As time goes on, a weak relationship will just fizzle out. A healthy relationship grows as time goes on. You remind each other how important you are to each other, you push each other to try new things, and you stand by each other when times get tough.
You use "I love you," "thank you," and "I’m sorry" whenever it’s appropriate but more importantly you don’t just say it, you mean it.
21. For the first time in a while, you’re genuinely happy.
This is the person that makes your life easier and sometimes more chaotic. But when it comes down to it he always makes you happy. Just hearing his name makes you smile.
You look forward to tomorrow with him. He's the person you couldn’t imagine walking out the door and never returning. It’s not draining and complicated. With him you feel calm, secure, happy and, above all, loved.
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