When you're a unfiltered sassy mess of a person, you get judged. A LOT. But do you care? Not at fucking all.
1. You are sarcastic, and honestly, if someone can't banter back and forth with you, you're gonna get bored.
2. You are the loudest of the group. People can hear you before they even see you.
3. You're a pervert. You can literally turn anything innocent someone says into something dirty sounding.
Because that's what she said moments can't be passed up.
4. You say 'Sorry not Sorry' because you refuse to apologize for your creative mindset.
It's not your fault people take things so fucking serious and are sensitive little bitches now day.
5. People often tell you, "this is why we can't take you in public" because of the word vomit that spews from your mouth.
And the fact that you was talking about deep throating in front of a soccer mom beside you in the check out line.
6. Or, because you do something equally as offensive, like making dick sucking gestures that earn you dirty looks from said soccer mom.
7. There's no shame in your game when it comes to talking about anything. You're an open book.
8. Unlike some of your friends, you don't get embarrassed. You can fall down in front of a crowd of people and just lay there laughing at yourself.
9. Your friends tell you all the time you should come with a warning label because no one ever knows what crazy comments are about to come out of your mouth.
10. And a lot of times they have to warn someone they introduce you to how truly offensive you can be.
11. Orrrr, they don't warn them at all and watch their friends surprised faces when they hear the things you say.
12. You cuss like a sailor, because every sentence isn't complete without a fuck in there somewhere.
13. But you try to keep it under wraps in front of older folks and children.
Key word, try...
14. But "trying" leads to you havomg to apologize for saying 'cum sucking road whore' at your best friends child's birthday party.
15. People give you weird looks all the time because you're socially awkward and tend to always be doing something stupid.
16. And people tell you all the time you need to calm down and act more lady like.
17. To which you always respond with, "you can suck my non existent dick."
18. You find the things you say to be funny and witty, even if no one else does.
I mean, hello, you really are hilarious obviously. Why can't anyone see that??
19. But you don't even need someone to laugh at your jokes, you'll do that yourself.
20. You always scare guys away with your feisty attitude and sassy comebacks.
21. And you're always doing something others deem "unladylike" and you're constantly thinking to yourself, "and this is why I'm single."
22. So you've already come to terms that you're forever alone, or a future cat lady.
23. You have to warn people right off the bat that you have no filter and are offensive. Hey, at least you warned them right?
24. Generally they don't believe you until five minutes later when their shaking their heads at your twisted and warped mind.
25. Sometimes you don't even want to go in public and deal with judgmental and closed minded humans. Not today Satan, not today.
26. Your radar for bullshit is on point.
Your fuckboy radar on the other hand seems to be permanently broken...
27. And you're not scared to challenge or call someone on their bullshit when stories or excuses don't add up.
28. You're quite intelligent despite what people may think.
Probably because of all the smart ass remarks and clever comebacks you have been making all these years.
29. And stuck up, prime and proper, judgy bitches are the reasons why you say even more fucked up shit, just to see their reactions.
30. But you're loyal and protective. As long as you get the same in return.
31. Which means you'll always stand up for your friends and have their back, no matter what.
32. You're not good at hiding what your thinking and feeling. Your face tells it all.
33. And you can't be fake or lie to save your life.
34. People know exactly where they stand with you, and you never talk shit behind their back.
You tell that hoe to her face how much you despise her.
35. Most the time people don't know how to take you when they first meet you because you come off intense and brash.
36. Which is okay, cause you're not a people pleaser.
37. Let's be honest, most people don't understand you or your blunt personality.
38. And people either really like you, or they really hate you.
39. But all you want is for people to love you for the true asshole you are.