in

5 Struggles of People Who Are Terrible at Comforting Others

There comes a time in everyone's life that someone you know needs consoling. Some people just aren't all that great at it.

1. We don't know what to say, really. Words will never take the pain away. Words will not cure cancer nor will they bring a loved one back to life. Words won't repair someone's shattered heart.

We can tell you a million and one times that we are sorry for your loss and things will be okay but in the end, any combination of the 26 letters in the alphabet will not heal emotional wounds.

2. Wanting to be there when we physically cannot. "I'm here for you if you need anything." These are probably the words most spoken in times of personal turmoil. It isn't that easy.

Life gets in the way. People have jobs, they have families to support. Sometimes the people who need you are too far away. It is a great concept, and if you truly need us, we will do our best to be there, but please understand if we are in the position where doing so is near impossible.

3. The pain that comes with not being able to fix things. We want to make things better. We want to take your pain away and help you move on.

We can't. We feel everything. We will listen and absorb every ounce of emotion you feel. The only thing that we can do is turn off our feelings so that we don't lose it too.

4. We haven't personally been through your situation. While we don't lack empathy, we lack experience. No matter who you are, we have all been through some traumatic stuff. No life experience is the same for any one person.

A certain individual can handle tragedy much different than their neighbor. How do we comfort you when we have not personally battled the same demons you are currently fighting?

5. We've got our own problems. Sometimes, we get so caught up in searching for the answers to our own problems, it is hard to focus on someone else's needs.

Your hours got cut? Well, that sucks. I lost my job. Call it being selfish, but sometimes the issues of those around us are pale in comparison at the time.

I for one, cannot be comforted. How the hell am I supposed to make anyone else feel better about their situation? If I knew how to make my pain go away, I wouldn't spend half of my time writing about it. 

We want to be the person you turn to, but we literally do not know what to do.

Check out some more of my rather sporadic musings here