I was denied from financing my student loans because I don't earn enough. And, now, I need my mom to sign my refinancing loan because they're considering my part-time job as "contract work."
I had to file for unemployment because my part-time job was off for a month. And, even though I've filed twice now, they have still yet to come.
My husband doesn't have a job and I only have two part-time ones.
I can't find a full-time job.
I'm frustrated and I had a temporary meltdown in the gym parking lot. I was on the phone with my father and told him I had to go. Right after, I lost it.
You know the kind that leaves you shaking and cursing every god there is? Well, I had one of those. This doesn't happen that often, but when it does, it lasts a while and it's extremely hard to control it.
But, I'm still here. I'm untouched and not broken. I'm wounded, but I'm not harmed. I'll be okay even if it kills me. Even when I get knocked down, I'll keep getting back up. I'm a warrior.
I'm pissed off that professors did not warn me that I might not find work for some time. I have experience in several avenues, yet no one calls me back. But, you know what? I'm fine because I have my friends, family, and a wonderful husband.
In about 2 months the lease is going to expire and my husband and I might have to move with his parents. I just feel bad because at times I think we're burdening them. I mean, we've been living with them since last April after he lost his job.
And, we were living with them before we moved to Tennessee.
I didn't ask to be in this situation, but you best believe it's making me a stronger person.
I'm certainly not broke and I'll always have somewhere to go, but I'm pissed that I cannot do this on my own. My husband and I have relied on both his parents and mine for far too long, but again, that's not our fault.
I know what I want and I'm trying everything in my power to get it. I know I'll get there, but it will take time. I'm trying to stay positive because it could be so much worse.
With tears streaming down my face, I say, "I'm frustrated," to my husband.
He understands because he's right there with me. He gets it because at our age, we should have a house or at least an apartment. But, we were not provided with the tools or means to survive on our own. Well, our dips*** professors didn't teach us anything about life after college.
But, I'll be okay.
When you're feeling down, here are 5 ways to keep positive.
1) Laugh about it. Sure, your living situation might really blow, but always remember to laugh it off. Hey, why not watch a comedy.
2) Think about how this will make you a stronger individual. You're a warrior and you can get through anything, so what kills you only makes you stronger!
3) Think about the positives. Your parents could have kicked you to the curb, but they didn't. You may not have food and water, but you do. Think about the positives instead of focusing all your energy into the negatives. Where will that get you anyway?
4) Look up inspirational quotes or people. Whenever I'm feeling down, I always look up positive mantras. Also, why not look up people who were in the same situation as you? It always makes you feel better knowing you're not the only one.
5) You're not alone. You have friends, family and possibly a significant other to lean on. You have people to talk to about your frustrations. So, instead of weeping into your pillow, grab coffee with a friend or family member, chit-chat with a co-worker or read a book.
No matter what happens in life, you must always remember that someone else was in the exact same situation or potentially worse. There are so many other people who are frustrated too, but they keep getting back on the saddle and trying again. I know that I'm going to keep moving forward because I'm not a quitter.