I love sex just as much as the next girl, but I’m the only one living in my body. It’s my decision what I put into it, and birth control is not for me.
I've considered every method and tried the majority of them, but ultimately, I’ve reached the conclusion that I don’t want to take any contraceptive.
1) The pill makes me crazy.
Absolutely fucking batshit and ain’t nobody got time for that.
The added hormones make me even more quick-tempered than I already am, and they make me feel altogether depressed. Why would the fuck would I want that? I already have to deal with the ups and downs that come with being a woman, and I don’t need any extra dips and turns to deal with in an already complicated, well-lived life.
2) It also makes me gain weight.
It’s not about vanity or insecurity. I just know what weight I feel most comfortable at, and if I go over my weight range by 10-15 pounds, you’re damn right it makes a difference. Not only do I feel uncomfortable and my clothes don’t fit—but I also have less energy. It makes me feel groggy and less able to do the things that I’d like to do most (Sex included.) So, I’m not going to add on the pounds if I don’t have to.
Unnecessary weight gain sucks.
3) Implanon made me bleed more not less.
Now this isn’t the case for everyone, but it was for me. Implanon (the rod in your arm) can cause additional spotting before the body becomes used to it.
Well, my body never got used to it, and I waited it out a year. A full year! I bled and bled and bled and there was hardly a week or so in between. Why I waited a year, I’ll never know, (Think of all the non-period sex I could have been having) and now I have a horrifically unattractive scar on my bicep from two elderly gynecologists who just couldn’t get the thing out straight.
4) IUDs aren’t microscopic. We can feel them…inside. (**shivers**)
As much as everyone would like to say that IUDs aren’t noticeable, they are. A person can actually feel the thing inside of themselves. That little little copper T placed deep inside your hoohah? Yea, it has a string that dangles from it—a string that somebody can in fact feel.
Can I get a “Fuck no�?? The only thing I want to feel up inside me is a tampon or a dick. Nothing else.
5) Condoms have lube, and lube is awesome.
Yes, we all love condom-less sex. There’s a heightened level of intimacy, and there’s a better feeling of what’s going on down there when we don’t have latex rubbing between our thighs.
However, condoms have a few party tricks that are well worth using them for. They can be ribbed, have lube, and even heat up or cool down the experience depending on the kind you by. (What up, Fire & Ice.) So, not only am I practicing safe sex, but I’m also having fun sex. Where’s the problem in that?
6) I’m not the only one involved.
It’s not my sole responsibility to prevent a pregnancy. My partner needs to take just as many precautions as I do to ensure that we are being safe. I want him to have as much fun as I’m having, however, there’s a level of respect that comes when I’m with a guy who isn’t going to just carelessly blow his load wherever.
It’s my body. I may have invited you to bed, but I didn’t invited you to inseminate me. Case closed.
Now, other women may feel differently from me. Maybe they've had great success with their birth control. Maybe the pill is a daily ritual just like brushing their teeth, or they can't feel their IUD at all. If that's the case, then I give those women a super high five. You've figured out what works best for your body and that's amazing!
For me though, BC isn't it. I don't like it, I don't need it, and so I won't be taking it. I'll never go on birth control (although I will still be having sex.) That's my decision, and I'm sticking to it.
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