I met my bestie in 1999. I remember the first time I saw her, at the newspaper we both worked at. She was dressed in this very conservative outfit and had glasses on. I thought, "oh crap, I'm not going to get along with her at all." That's right, all forever friends aren't frouples (friend couples) at first sight. But here we are, 16 years later, living in separate states, calling each other at least once a week.
So how do you know you have a forever friendship?
1. You can say anything to each other.
I can tell my bestie absolutely anything and she can do the same. No topic is off limits. Having this kind of no censorship relationship gives me a gut check on who I really am and how I really feel. There have been times I have called her up confused as hell and, after no holds barred talking it out, I end up with a solution. It's fantastic.
2. You support each other without judgment.
It's essential if you are going to say anything to each other to support each other without JUDGING. My bestie has called me up with some real doozies, like going back to the same boyfriend three times before finally throwing in the towel. But I don't judge. I realize that it's not up to me to live her life. Yes, I will give my unbiased opinion. I didn't like him the second I met him. That doesn't mean I won't love her if she decides to go back to the well a fourth time. It's what friends do. We're there for each other when we rise and we are there when we fall.
3. You get mama bear protective of her.
That said, if anyone talks down to her, hurts her, or makes her cry - the claws come out. One time, one of her boyfriends got behind the wheel of a car with a beer in his hand. I screamed at that guy til he got out of the car. Later, when he hurt her, he got a tongue lashing he will never forget. No one endangers the life of my bestie or makes her cry. Rawr.
4. You are involved in each other's lives.
No, I don't go mama bear on everyone. It takes something pretty atrocious for my claws to come out. But I do make an effort to stay involved in her life and be there for her, even though we are hundreds of miles apart now. I know when she's struggling at work, or happy with it. I saw the pictures of her son's graduation. She knew the very second I was thinking about moving in with my boyfriend - and gave me a nice reality check about it. Your forever friend is home base - someone who will always be there and will be standing there during all the major moments of your life.
5. You pick up the phone like you spoke yesterday, no matter how long it's been.
As I said, my bestie and I live hundreds of miles away. Although we might not talk on the phone every week, we run in spurts. When we do talk, or chat, or text, it's like we just connected yesterday. We are just as authentic, supporting, non-judgmental, and uncensored as we were the last time we spoke. We also don't sit in the past. We talk about what's happening today, about what's relevant. Yeah, we might remember a story or too - that's what people with histories do. But we're as connected today as when we lived in Riverside, Calif. Only, now she's in Riverside and I'm in Carson City, Nev.
6. You make time, whether its once a day or once a year, to see each other.
In two weeks, my bestie will be coming to Nevada to see me. During that time, she will meet my boyfriend. Forever friends ALWAYS meet the boyfriend! (If a friend doesn't want to meet your boyfriend, I suggest you read THIS ARTICLE.)
I get to hang out with her and her sons, and we will pick up like no time has passed at all. Forever friendships are priceless and I'm so glad I've found mine.
Ha... and I thought we wouldn't get along.