We've all seen our fair share of douche canoes and probably even dated a few of them. Sometimes you love to hate them, other times you just hate to love them. But either way you just usually don't even understand them.
1. The Nice Guy
This one is dangerous because he seems so, well, nice.
He's lighthearted and chill and seems like such great boyfriend material because nothing ever gets him too riled up.
He's never angry, he's respectful and trustworthy, and such a breath of fresh air compared to your previous asshole boyfriend.
But on the flip side, what happens when you need someone to motivate you? When you need something deeper than the surface-level, life-is-a-basket-of-rainbows conversations?
Where is the passion?
On top of being a total snooze, this guy just won't be there to challenge you or help you grow. He'll back down when life gets tough because he can't handle confrontation and you'll be on your own.
2. The Fuckboy
Ah, the most obvious of douchebags.
He wears brightly colored shorts and backward snapback hats, drives a car that his parents bought him, and he knows his best selfie angle better than he knows the alphabet.
Long story short, he'll cheat on you, but it won't technically be cheating because he never officially dated you, right?
3. The Man-Child
He's five to ten years older than you, but you're about five billion times more mature.
He stays out drinking later than you did in college and he blows off all your plans at the last minute if he even bothered to make any.
He also tries to be cool by wearing hipster glasses that he doesn't need to hide his crows feet.
And his texts always come across as creepy, making you wonder if he's actually still drunk or just really thinks that 'L.O.L.' has to be capitalized and punctuated like a real acronym.
4. The Couch Potato
This dude only leaves his room to get food or use the restroom.
He plays Xbox more often than he blinks and Netflix is his bread and butter.
He may seem like a nice guy that you'd clearly never have to worry about leaving you, but he's also just plain lazy.
He lacks ambition and the desire to create a life for himself, let alone the two of you. Not to mention you'll probably have a hard time getting any quality time with him for fear of breaking eye contact with his television.
5. The Muscle Head
He's smoking hot, super charming, and seems super ambitious.
And hey, he'll be a great influence to get your butt to the gym, right?
Maybe. But he's also banging every girl he comes into contact with and probably has as many STDs and cases of athlete's foot as he does protein shakes.
His rock hard abs mixed with his killer confidence can be attractive, but when his ego rears its ugly head you'll be less than impressed.
6. The Wanderer
He wears skinny jeans and beanies even when it's eighty degrees out and travels all over the place with money he doesn't have.
He claims he's just adventurous and a free spirit, that he's just still figuring out who he is and exploring new things.
But in reality, a land this guy is unfamiliar with, he's just afraid of commitment and he won't ever settle down with you.
The truth is that there are hundreds of types of douchebags out there, and some who even fit a combination of these profiles.
But even the best guys can have douchey qualities, so you just have to pick your poison and love the one you choose.
For more from rc, visit her writer's page here.
Sign up for the Pucker Mob Women’s News Email Newsletter
powered by ArcaMax