Dear Liars and Cheaters,
I am writing to you today on behalf of all of those you have hurt, demeaned and damaged, both past and present, in relationships.
I understand that sometimes temptation is so easy to yield to; especially in this media rich day and age that almost encourages cheating and lying.
The temptation to cheat is a beast that is conquered with a little practice of self-control.
There is so much pain and suffering in the world today that we should always be mindful and look for ways to reduce any unnecessary heartache with one another.
That being said, I have a few issues and key points I would like to address with you.
1. If you truly aren’t happy or satisfied in a relationship, why not just end it and save the heartache of your partner? Sure, it will sting a bit at first, but hearing the truth is so much better than the crushing blow of a lie.
One lie can un-do so many good aspects of the time shared together – if you lied and cheated, then what else over the course of the relationship did you lie about? Better to cut to the chase, tell the truth and leave the past memories intact and precious to the now ex in your life.
I have experienced this more than a few times in my past, and given the choice, I’d much rather hear the truth than find out later on about the lies and indiscretions.
2. Why enter into a committed relationship in the first place if you know deep down inside that you cannot be faithful? Be upfront about your past, such as if you have issues with being faithful; let your partner know if you have any misgivings or hold-outs on relationships in general, going as far as your capacity to commit.
In my past, I had an ex that was open with me like this, and I decided at the time to take the chance. Do I regret that decision? No, but I did learn a lot from the experience.
Honesty really is the best policy – give the person you are considering a relationship with that choice if they want to take the chance on you and risk possible heartbreak.
3. While I’m on the topic of choices, to me personally, the worst part of being cheated on (aside from the outright lies) – is that you took my choice away. If you feel the need to sow those wild oats, then once again, you need to communicate that feeling to your partner.
Perhaps you’d be happier with an open relationship, where you are still with your partner but can go out and have other minor relationships or flings. Give your partner that choice of whether they’d be willing to open the relationship up to exploration or to end it because you want to see other people and/or do not feel that you can remain faithful to them.
Having that choice taken away is a killer. With my most recent break-up due to infidelity, this is what inflamed me more than the actual act of cheating.
Think of it this way: when you bring up this concept of a possible open relationship with your partner, they will either say, “OK, let’s try this, but understand that I will also be exploring other relationships as well."? or, “I think it would be best if we broke up, because I cannot handle the thought of sharing you with another."?
Either way, you essentially get to see other people, and might even take the guilt off of yourself if the other chooses to break the relationship off.
Please think about these points the next time you feel the temptation creep in and you feel compelled to lie, deceive and cheat on someone whom you are in a relationship with. Don’t hurt someone else in your path of destruction.
As the Golden Rule states: Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.
If for any other reason, keep in mind that karma is a bitch and any pain you cause will eventually come back to you in one way or another.