Where do I start? I miss you more than words could ever explain. With every day that passes, my life is filled with new moments that you do not get to be apart of. My life is filled making new memories that I don’t get to share with you.
This reality is hard. It is so hard. Often times, it is even impossible to try and be happy and excited for things knowing you aren’t here to share them with. The good things definitely don’t mean as much without you. I find myself just wishing you were there to share them with me.
Life has been hard without you. Especially being a girl with so much growing up left to do. I may be an “adult” which I don’t know how you could even consider me at my age, but regardless, there are so many things I still need my mom for, and so many things I will continue to need you for, for the next 50 plus years.
Nobody really understands what I’m going through. They try. They try really hard. But except for the few people in my life who have also lost a mother, they have no clue. They have no clue how to help me. They have no clue what to say. They have no idea how to help me with this painful void I am left with.
I truly hope you are proud. Since the day you left me, I have spent my life living it for you. I do things hoping that you see them. I do things knowing that you are watching. I try to live a life that my mother, my angel, my best friend, would be proud of.
Sometimes I don’t always make the best choices. Sometimes I get lost and confused and make mistakes. I’m sorry you have to watch that. I’m sorry you have to watch any and all of the drama my life is filled with. I am trying my best.
I am becoming so much like you. Everyday things come out of my mouth and someone will say “oh my god you are just like your mother”, now I couldn’t be prouder to hear that. I can see myself growing into you and it is the greatest feeling.
I love you. I miss you. I anxiously wait until the day we are reunited again, forever. But until then, you will live on in me. Tucked away in my heart always, with me with everything I do.
Your Baby Girl
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother