I knew that when I met you the timing was all wrong. Not to say that I didn't love every moment I got to spend with you because I did.
But I'm also realistic, and even though my heart was begging me to stay, I knew somewhere deep down that it wouldn't work.
Not because of you or me, or what we could have been. But because we were moving in two different directions.
It was hard at first, knowing that I could never have you all the way. Knowing that I would have to move on, to find someone who did what you did for me.
Who made me smile. Who listened to me when I talked.
Whose jaw dropped when I walked into the room. For a really long time, I made myself forget about you. Because it was easier than holding on, than waiting for us to be in the same place at the same time, reading to jump hand in hand.
But I also knew that from the very first moement, I would fall in love with you one day.
Just know one very important thing.
I think that in some ways, I'm always going to be waiting for you to come back to me. Or the other way around.
I know that we've both gotten settled in different lives, miles and miles apart. I know that we don't talk like we used too. In fact, I barley remeber the last time we spoke.
But that doesn't really mean anything when it comes to matters of love.
I think that I've alwasy loved you in some way or the other. Maybe I coulnd't see it then, and maybe I won't see it in another couple years.
But I know one thing to be more true than anything else. I know that no matter what happens, no matter where life takes me or you, I know that if it ever did work out, if fate stepped in and gave a helping hand, I wouldn't hesitate.
Not for anything.
I would dive right in because I know that you would be beside me.
Now I'm not saying that it'll ever happen. I'm not saying that I would put my life on hold for you, because I've never been that kind of girl.
I just wanted you to know that sometimes, I look for you in someone else's eyes. The way that they throw their head back when their laughing.
Sometimes, I close my eyes and you're there. And I'm falling all over again.
I don't expect you to feel the same way, not after all this time. Just know that there are so many things that I wanted to share with you, so many little moments. I wanted them all with you.
And I don't know. Maybe one day, I'll get to have them. And my heart will have more than a temporary home. Because before you and after you, that's all I've ever known.
A soft place to land. But not forever.
I hope that you know how much you mean to me, how much I would do anything to be with you when you need me the most.
I hope you know how much I would love to be able to love you. And I know that sometimes, the timing just isn't right.
Just know that sometimes, I'm still that girl.
Just waiting on you.