Initially, the thought of raising our baby without you was hard. It was like taking a gigantic horse pill without any water to wash it down. The first several months all I did was cry and I couldn't stop wondering why.
I hated going to doctor's appointments without you by my side. I hated it so much because every single time they would ask if I had anyone with me. It hurt, more than you could possibly imagine.
I hated having to explain that you decided another life was more important than us. Often times I wanted to say "Oh, he's out of town working."
I knew that wouldn't have done any good.
It would have only further delayed my acceptance of the fact that you chose to not be around. I would have been lying to myself to soften the blow that other people and other things were, in fact, more important.
I've finally come to the realization that despite how badly I want you in our daughter's life, it isn't what you want at all. More than that, I've come to the realization that, even though I never wanted to, I can do this without you.
I have a huge support system, one that I never dreamed I would have. I have my family, your family and an abundance of friends that are truly here for me.
Beyond that though, this little precious amazing gift is loved so so so much already. She has an abundance of people so excited to meet her and be in her life. She is already spoiled and hasn't even made her appearance into this world yet.
Proverbs 3:15 explains exactly how I feel about her: "She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her."
Nothing in this world will ever compare to how precious our daughter is and always will be. I feel very blessed that I get to be her Mom and without you, I wouldn't have that chance. I will never regret us because without there being an us, I wouldn't have her.
With that being said, thank you.
Thank you for giving me the best gift you could ever give to anyone. Instead of being sad that you are not around, I'm choosing to be grateful that you gave me her to love and cherish, to watch grow into a beautiful young woman and to remind me that miracles are real.
You've blessed me more than you could ever imagine.
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