â€śCan't believe that I still want you and after all the things we've been through I miss everything about youâ€?
I have done everything that I was supposed to do, I deleted the text messages, I got rid of the photos, and I started flirting with other guys and told my friends that I was over you. For a few moments I think I actually started to believe it.
Even though Iâ€™ve done all these things and time has gone by why is it that youâ€™re still the one I want?
I know people are just trying to make me feel better when they tell me that I deserve someone else, someone better that wouldnâ€™t treat me like you do. I have to agree that I know I donâ€™t deserve to have been treated how I was in the end and ignored now but I still canâ€™t agree with them.
They see the negative side of you, because thatâ€™s the last memory they have and they donâ€™t like to see me hurt. They donâ€™t like to see me throw away perfect opportunities with really nice guys because my playlist decided to play a song that reminded me of you and it reminded my heart to start over beating again.
Iâ€™m not crazy and Iâ€™m not pathetic, Iâ€™m just human, and a hopeless romantic wishing that youâ€™d wake up and see that I am the girl youâ€™re meant to let your guard down to.
Love doesnâ€™t make any sense, itâ€™s supposed to be one of the happiest feelings yet it leads to more tears and heartbreak than anything else.
I love you but I want to be over you, because Iâ€™m holding onto a lost cause when it comes to loving you. I know you arenâ€™t going to change your mind, youâ€™re kind of stubborn and once you make your mind up itâ€™s pretty solid. I donâ€™t want to be the girl that is caught up on her ex boyfriend.
Iâ€™m asked why I still love you, when youâ€™ve made it clear that you donâ€™t feel the same way. Just like I canâ€™t force you to love me, you canâ€™t force my feelings to just disappear. Itâ€™s how you know that they are actually real feelings, because they donâ€™t just drop on a dime.
They linger, some days they do a better job at concealing themselves, others they do not.
I can distract myself with work, school; shameless flirting, girlsâ€™ days and drinking on the weekends but eventually the distractions donâ€™t work. I think the only way you truly get overs someone is by just dealing with the memories when they hit you, until eventually they become distant and it doesnâ€™t bother you to hear something that reminds you of that person.
I wish I could just go back to the last time I remember everything being okay. Iâ€™d of held onto the moment a little longer, kissed you a little deeper and hugged you a little tighter. Iâ€™d have reminded you how important you were to me and that our relationship meant a lot.
If you called now, I wish I could say I wouldnâ€™t answer the phone, that my heart wouldnâ€™t skip a beat and that I wouldnâ€™t be hoping it was because you finally came to your senses or that I wouldnâ€™t be extremely nervous. Iâ€™d be lying if you didnâ€™t know that I wonder what itâ€™d be like if we didnâ€™t end the way we did or at all in that matter.
My story is still the same; Iâ€™m just a girl whoâ€™s crazy about you. It doesnâ€™t make sense, love never does, and Iâ€™m just as perplexed as you are. How can a girl hang onto a guy that did nothing but attempt to push her away and show her he didnâ€™t want to be with her?
I donâ€™t have a logical answer and that is why I know that I love you because it is never logical and it never makes sense and if it has to do with mathematical equation or scientific reason or anything of that sort we already know those arenâ€™t my strong suites.
Words and feelings are what I hold onto, and theyâ€™re what I know and understand.
So I donâ€™t know what youâ€™re doing, I donâ€™t know where you are or whom youâ€™re with. I have no idea if I cross your mind at all and if you think of us ever.
All I know is I canâ€™t control what my heart wants, despite the many of failed attempts and that loving you isnâ€™t a regret of mine and that I hope that, despite it all, youâ€™re happy.
â€śSo tell me what you want me to do. Oh, itâ€™s too late baby Iâ€™ve already fallen in love with you.â€?
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