On some level, we all believe in second chances. He cheated, though. What about in his case? How is everything supposed to just go back to being rainbows and sunshine like nothing ever happened?
He said he would never cheat on you again...that she didn’t mean anything to him.
He is sorry, he’s so sorry. He has been doing anything and everything to make it up to you and show you, his undying love again. It’s like you guys have just met. Roses, chocolate, maybe some new bling too.
But your mind can’t stop from going there again and again. Once your memory hits play, it’s all “weren’t they just fucking two months ago?” Torturing you and wounding you repeatedly.
You wonder if he said “I love you” to her as well. What promises did he make? Did he touch her like he touches me? That new thing he now does that’s so great...did she teach him that?
It all eventually comes down to trusting again and making a choice if he is still worthy of your trust or not.
Deciding if you can or can’t trust someone isn’t an easy choice. And it isn’t cut and dry either. You should not automatically say to yourself “Yes, I can totally do this relationship again.”
Until you know you can trust them you should try it out first, unfortunately.
Chances are if you find yourself becoming better than the FBI at tracking his whereabouts and finding out whom he is talking to, it might not be working out for you.
I know you still are working on giving him a second chance and you are trying to convince yourself that this behavior is completely normal. Take a breath, you know this isn’t you.
Deal with your heartbreak first. Process your pain first.
You only know how strong you are until you hurt, and you only know if you can really trust him again once the pain fades and you allow yourself to love him with your whole heart.
Our gut feelings can sometimes lead us down the wrong paths. It’s fighting our own urges to not want to be alone and thinking once we have the guy back, they'll hurt us again and again. Those urges take the most self-reflection and work. We must let them go.
Honestly, stop looking at what the guy did and look at what he is doing. Look at what you're doing and try and see things from his perspective as well.
Are you really listening to them and accepting their apology with your whole heart?
Relationships aren’t always about fixing what’s been broken. Sometimes you have to agree to start over and create something better for you both.
There must always be a moment of truth before reconciliation. A moment of truth for yourself, and a moment of truth for the cheater.
Take a moment and let your whole heart speak to you.
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