From the beginning, I fought hard for this relationship.
I knew you'd been hurt and that pushed me to love you harder. I wanted to show you that it was possible for someone to love you unconditionally.
I wanted you to know that I saw something beautiful in you and that it was worth fighting for.
So, I fought.
You had walls. Goddamn, they were so high. It was hard for you to open up and communicate. You gave me little bits at a time and I tried to believe they were enough for me.
I kept fighting.
I thought that if I fought long enough, hard enough, you would eventually see that I was there to stay and finally deem me worthy of your trust, vulnerability, and love.
I thought if you only knew that I was genuine in this, you would eventually give me back everything that you were receiving.
But you never did.
Those walls – they stayed the same. No matter what I did or how I did it, it was never enough. You refused to open up to me. Talking to you was like talking to a brick wall sometimes.
But you would get my hopes up that you were trying, that you would get there soon enough. So, I waited.
I tried to help you, but you pushed me away. I tried to talk to you, but you kept your guard up. I tried to keep loving you, but you started to block that out, too.
You pushed and pushed and pushed while I gave and gave and gave until one day, I was all out of things to give; out of compassion, out of effort, and out of sympathy for you.
I loved you still, but I could no longer show it the way I used to. After being rejected for long enough, you start to realize that your efforts aren’t worth it.
A one-sided love can never last. I have needs too; I want to be loved, to be cared about and cherished.
I thought this would be your turn to fight for me, your chance to love me the way I'd been loving you for so long.
But you didn’t.
Instead, you got mad. You were upset because I “changed.”
You changed me and then decided I wasn’t enough.
How many times did you think you could push me far away before I finally just stayed away?
I gave you every little piece of me and then I ran out. And so did you.
You left. You’re gone, I'm broken and empty, and you have the audacity to blame me?
I can't believe how you left me after everything that I've done for you, without even the tiniest hint of gratitude or appreciation.
You will move on, only to find out that nobody else is dumb enough to fight for you like I did. You will eventually realize that I was the best.
And when you do, I'll be miles away... and I damn sure won't look back.
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