The brutal, unedited, heartbreaking reality is that I miss you.
There isn't enough paper in the world to write down every little thing I miss about you. But if I don't get it out of my head, I honestly might explode.
I miss your soothing voice, the way it would calm me of anything that I was feeling. I knew that once you opened your mouth, your words would captivate my soul with the deep, sweet sound of your voice.
I miss the way that you would grab my hand in your car as we were driving home and listening to the music drown out the sounds of the world around us.
I miss your texts. Not just the heartfelt ones, but just the fact that you thought of me in the early hours of the morning, the busy hours of the afternoon and the sleepy-eyed, late hours of the night made my heart feel so warm.
I miss your mind. You were so smart and you had so much to talk about all of the time. I miss your laugh. There’s no sound quite like it, the way it overflowed out of you and curled around me like a hug.
I miss your smile. People talk about a person’s smile having the ability to light a room and yours did. It lit up every single one that you walked into.
I miss your sense of humor. Not everybody got it, but that didn’t matter. You said some of the dorkiest, funniest things I’ve ever heard. And to this day, the expressions on your face as you would say them and your laugh afterward are imprinted in my mind.
I miss your ambitions and goals and I miss supporting you through them. When you decided that you wanted something, you didn’t stop until you got it and I think that’s what hurts the most.
Because I'm no longer the thing you're pursuing with that infectious, unrelenting dedication.
If you wanted to be mine again, you would work your butt off until you were. You would do every single thing in your power to make sure that we were together.
But we’re not.
Instead, someone else gets to love all the things I miss about you.
I wonder if you think about me. I wonder if you miss me too.
I guess I always will.