They say that when you really love someone, that it makes you blind. That love is the only emotion that makes you forgot all the bad things because all you can see is the good.
And that's what happened with you.
I was so into you, into the idea of loving you and only you that I lost sight of something very important, something I wasn't sure that I would ever get back.
I lost sight of what I deserved. Because what I really needed, what I really should have gotten, was something that you could never give me.
I understand that now, but I don't forgive you for what you did. Because I think that somewhere along the way, you made me love you.
Even if you couldn't see it.
Even if you thought you were doing what was best for me, what you thought I wanted. I don't know if you were assuming, or really thinking. But whatever you were doing, you were far away from the person you worked so hard to convince me that you were.
Maybe, in some small ways, I lifted you too high. I thought that you were going to be my saving grace, I thought you were going to be the game changer. Maybe I just wanted you to be so I missed all the signs.
Maybe because I wanted you so much, I forgot that somewhere, deep down inside, I knew that there was something missing.
And it was you, wanting me back.
It's a hard thing to admit when you're wrong about someone. Especially when you were so sure not too long ago.
And that's what happened with me. All of the sudden, without any kind of warning, you were gone.
For a while, I blamed myself you know? You did that. Not only did you take everything I gave to you, but you welcomed my heart with open arms, even though you knew that you weren't going to be around forever. Nothing close to forever. You were already gone.
But I wanted to thank you too. For being the kind of person that can let go so easily. Because whether you know it now or not, you gave me something that I would never have understood without this kind of heartbreak.
You taught me to slow down.
You taught me that love is messy, and that life just makes it worse sometimes. But most importantly, you taught me that just because I have love for someone, doesn't mean that their going to return that same love.
It doesn't happen overnight you know, forgetting you. But now that I have, I can't believe that I wasted so much time and effort on someone who was more into playing games than being with me.
Someone who was so wrapped up in themselves, that they pulled me in and then watched me spin head first.
But now that you're over and gone, I have something back in myself that I thought I lost when you walked away. I found my own heart again. And with that, I found that you didn't damage my ability to love. You only bruised it for a little while.
Now that I'm free from whatever spell I thought I was under when you were around, I know that one day, when I'm ready, I'm going to meet someone who wants my love, someone whose been waiting for it.
And someone who has the love that I deserve, not the love that I want. You taught me the difference and for that, I thank you.
And I finally let you go.