I didn’t believe that I could fall for anyone until I met you. It was like the world stopped the moment I saw you.
And in that moment I knew that something was happening. Unfortunately, I eventually realized I was the only one who felt that way.
To you, I’m just some other girl who you barely see. I'm your "pal," some days not even that.
I started to fall regardless—but I'll keep it a secret, no matter how much it kills me inside.
All I want is to make you mine, to hold you close, to be something with you. But all I can think to do is watch from afar as you fall in love with other girls and live your own life apart from mine.
I would tell you exactly how I feel, but I’m afraid that I’ll say it wrong. Or that I’ll say it right and you just won’t feel the same way. It’s almost like I lose my words when you’re around, like the moments with you are so perfect trying to explain how they make me feel would ruin them.
I’m scared of rejection, of losing you completely or seeing you go. I just can’t imagine putting myself through that kind of hell.
I fully realize I could lose you just the same way without giving you a word of truth, but I just can’t fathom it. I can’t fathom ruining whatever it is that we may or may not have. As weird as our “relationship” is, it fills this hole in my heart that I didn’t know needed to be filled.
You make me braver, stronger, happier, better, and I just can't risk losing that by telling you how I feel and having you reject me. Because if that happened, nothing would ever be the same, we could never go back to what we have now, even if it's not enough for me.
So I just have to accept that I have strong feelings for you, and you, well, simply don’t reciprocrate them.
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