I know that there are things that we ca't control. Sometimes, things fall apart and there's not a reason. It just happens.
But with you, I thought it was going to be different. Just this once, I had this idea that you were going to be the reason why it ever worked out with anyone else. You were going to be the acception.
But I was so wrong.
I was wrong for you, and wrong with you. I was wrong to make plans with you, to think that you were in this with me.
But mostly I was wrong for having ever loved you at all.
I gave you all the best parts of myself. Really and truly, I did.
I gave you my heart, my time. I would have done anything you asked me to do. I would have walked through fire if you just looked me in the eyes and asked.
So now that it's over and you're gone for good, I want you to know one very important thing.
I don't wish you the best. I don't hope that you're happier without me. I just wish that I had enough courage in me to hurt you back.
But as it goes, I don't. And I can't.
All the things you did to me, all the things you never said, all those times that you just weren't there, I would never be able to do that to you.
Not even for on second.
I wish I could let you down.
I wish I could say I would call and then leave you waiting.
But mostly, I wish that I could break your heart even more than you broke mine.
But I just can't. Because I haven't been able to stop loving you yet.
And I don't know.
Maybe it's going to take some time. Maybe more time that I would like. Maybe I'll wake up one day adn not be worried about you. Or think of you.
Or wonder how you're doing.
But until then, just know that you got the best of me. Not matter what way I tell it, no matter how much I try to hide it, you took something away from you. I don't know if I'm ever going to get that hope back. Not from you.
I wish I could leave you waiting outside, I wish I could leave you waiting by the phone, hoping that I'm going to call.
But none of that really matters because when it really comes down to it, I know where you stand. I know that you're still standing in the same place, even though you've moved on.
I only hope that one day, I can learn to hate you enough to stop caring.
I wish that I could take all of the feelings I still have for you and give them to someone else. But I know that I would be lying.
And that's your game not mine.
I know that I should have known better, but that doesn't change the way that my heart still rests with you. So that's all I have left for you.
I gave you ride or die.
I gave you my heart and my trust. And now there's really nothing left to say.
I thought that it would take a little while, but then you would remember how much I meant to you. And maybe that's me being foolish, native even.
But just know that when I say I wish I could hurt you back, when I say I don't want to love you anymore, I really do mean it.
I know that somehow, someway, it'll stop hurting this much. But right now, it's killing me. I only wish that I could do enough and say enough to put you in my shoes.
But I just can't.
And I want you to know that.