It’s a gut wrenching reality that there are those in this world that we are going to love that aren’t going to love us back. Unrequited love is heartbreaking in itself. A relationship where the scales of affection are tipped in favor of one person, where one individual’s emotions and feeling are left in the dark.
In life there will be friends that we are willing to go to the ends of the Earth for but when times are tough turn their back to you. The ones you’re always there for when something goes wrong for them, the ones that can come to you crying and you’ll always have open hands for them. It’s some of these same people that look the other way when you’re sad, lost and alone.
There are also those, whom your heart attaches to, someone you learn to love that doesn’t love you the same way. People you can see forever with but they only see a short limited time frame with you. You try and ignore these moments, the epiphanies that give it away.
It’s most difficult once you realize these things to admit them to yourself. It’s hard to announce and acknowledge when love is going nowhere. You don’t’ want to be that person who goes up to another and engages in the “I care more about you” “You don’t seem to appreciate me” conversation.
It’ll be a small feeling at first, like you’re bothering them and it will intensify. You’ll worry about texting them, about trying to engage in any conversation. Each text you send you begin to automatically wonder if they’re annoyed or upset with the fact you sent it in the first place. You automatically want to apologize because you don’t want to lose them.
You start to be the one chasing them. It can be exhausting and humiliating keeping someone in your life that doesn’t reciprocate the same feelings as you. When you send them a good morning text, or a hey how’s it going text midday, or that cute little gift that you know would make them smile doesn’t actually do what you intended and heaven forbid you know it won’t be returned or appreciated.
The truth is they don’t owe you the same loyalty or the same love and respect. You can’t force them to feel the same way as you do and you shouldn’t want to. We have the ability to change the way we think, we have the ability to stop choosing to give our all to someone who doesn’t feel the same way.
You have to stop torturing yourself and giving your all to someone who doesn’t bat an eyelash for you. Love is an extremely complicated thing. It takes two usually highly different individuals that are in so many ways similar to come together. Love is felt differently for everyone and you can’t force someone to feel it how you do.
Hope is a dangerous thing, it will keep you trying to force something that even though you desperately want it to happen, it won’t. You start to hate yourself because you can’t make this person love you; you want to become someone other than yourself.
You shouldn’t want to completely change yourself for someone else to love you.
Whatever the reasons are, whether it being the timing wasn’t right or the feelings just weren’t there it’s time to say goodbye. Say goodbye to always feeling like you’re not enough, say goodbye to trying so hard and not getting the same in return.
It’s painful to say goodbye to someone you love but deep down you know it’s more painful to beg someone to stay when you know their heart isn’t in it.
Let these people go.
Not for them but for yourself. Break the never ending cycle of hurt. Stop putting in so much effort, stop always being there and stop caring about what they think. It’s not being defeated; it’s acknowledging that you deserve love that is given to you as freely as you give to others.
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