It feels like you’re struggling to keep your head above water. Like the world is crashing around you and at any moment is could swallow you whole. When you feel like you don’t belong, when no one understands you and everything you say feels burdensome.
It’s the moments you don’t think you understand yourself. That instant when giving up seems easier than holding on.
You have to try and you have to keep going.
I promise you the waves you feel around you are going to subside. The water is going to calm. All you have to do is try, that’s all that can be asked of you.
Days come where you do your best and fake a smile, look enthused to be out and about with your friends. You don’t’ really want to be there, you love your friends and making sure they’re happy turns out being a priority. Instead of speaking up you silently suffer.
You feel like it’s better to be quiet than be honest and tell someone that you’re really not okay. Admitting out loud that something is wrong makes you feel weak, vulnerable and small.
That is far from the truth. Admitting that you’re not okay makes you strong. You have to realize you are not alone. It’s better to let it out then let all the pain and emotions build up inside you. The tears that streak your pillows at night have got to dry up eventually.
Remember you’re not alone. I have moments of weakness, moments of struggle and thoughts of not understanding why. There are days when you wake up and you just don’t feel that great, you can’t explain why you feel the way you do but you don’t feel right. There are times where you’re pessimistic, overrun with your own thoughts and unable to look on the bright optimistic side of life.
You have to stop beating yourself up. You have to stop comparing yourself to others and thinking of all the ways things should be versus how they are now.
You have to forgive yourself.
Apologize to yourself, let go of the things you can’t control, find peace with the past and make room for the future. Things are not always going to go how you had thought they would have; life doesn’t always go as planned.
In fact it rarely does.
It’s okay to let it go.
There’s a phrase that I want you to remember, after a storm there is always a rainbow. Eventually everything has to calm eventually.
You are strong enough to get through whatever is troubling you. You have people you can turn to even when you don’t think you do. Hold tight to the friends that will listen whenever you need them no matter what.
Count to ten and take a deep breath.
Nothing is impossible.
You can and will make it through whatever is troubling you.
Each time you don’t give up you’re already winning.
So go ahead and keep trying, because eventually it will all make sense and you’ll put yourself back together.
To see more of Audi’s work check out her facebook page.