“Is it me? Am I the reason people always leave? Am I the reason all these things keep happening to me? Maybe I'm just destined to be alone.” -Peyton Sawyer
People always leave.
They tell you they love you and they’re here to stay.
But when things start to go a little bit wrong, they’re out the door. One fight and they leave without looking back.
I used to think it was them – maybe I’m just choosing the wrong people. But the more it happens, the more I start to think maybe I’m the problem too.
I hope to find someone someday who won’t quit when things get tough. I need someone who can handle me at my best and my worst; who will fight for me without hesitation when shit hits the fan.
Because, guaranteed, it will.
If you’re willing to walk away after one fight, then I’m not going to stop you anymore. I’m not going to chase after you and beg. I won’t belittle myself because you can't get past your own ego.
If you want to stay and talk, I will do anything it takes to make it right. I will fight until my last breath if you’re willing to do the same. But if you’re going to get mad and choose to shut me out instead, then please go right ahead.
Nothing hurts me more than being dismissed and pushed away. When you refuse to even talk to me, I can’t begin to describe the pain I feel.
To say it simply, it breaks my heart every single time.
Each time, it hurts a little deeper. It shatters another little piece of me that I know I’ll never get back. It leaves me broken beyond belief.
I’ve been through it enough times to know that I deserve more. If I mean so little to you that you aren’t willing to even speak to me, then I don’t want any part of it.
If you care so little about my feelings that you refuse to even hear me out, then just stay gone.
All I want is for someone to pull me in after a fight, to hold me close and talk through it with me.
I crave that more than anything, more than you can ever know.
So please, before you brush me off or give me the cold shoulder, think about it. Think about me and how much it hurts me. Think about if that's what you really want.
And if after all that, you still choose to walk away, then don’t let the door hit you on your way out.
Because I can promise you, you won’t be coming back.
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