With a clink of champagne, I kissed the last year sayonara and good riddance. The year before had sucked in a non-redeemable, go fuck-yourself kind of way, and so in a drunken glee, I gladly welcomed in the new year.
Where do I begin? This last year hit me like a slap in the face. I told myself before it began that I'd make more money. I'd strengthen friendships, and I wouldn't make the same mistakes in love that I had in the past. I reassured myself that I'd already learned all of life's lessons. I could handle any situation thrown my way and know exactly how to deal with any future incidents with grace and dignity.
Except I was wrong--so very, very wrong.
I absolutely did not make anymore money than I had prior. I made less. A lot less. I didn't really strengthen any friendships either. Several very important people left my life this year. As for love? Don't even get me started on the year's courtships. They weren't anything to write home about.
Aside from these aspects, everyday was a challenge. Nothing was given easily, nothing earned without a fight. This last year was the year of hardships...no other way to describe it.
It was hard. It kicked my ass, but this ass kicking? It was one of the best things to ever happen to me.
Although I got pushed down a lot this year, never once did I not pick myself back up again. Like a character in a video game, no matter how many hits I took, I never died. I kept fighting, kept pushing forward, and I kept playing the game.
I learned how to protect myself, how to be self-reliant. No one was going to take care of things for me. I needed to nut up and shut up and do everything I needed by myself, and it was hard.
Because of this, I am begrudgingly grateful.
It was the year I learned the most about myself, and the year I discovered a strength inside of myself that shocked me to my core.
Although I hardly enjoyed a minute of this year, I'll begrudgingly look back on it as a necessary time in my life, a time where I needed to get the shit knocked out of me and doled out some hard lessons that needed learning. And because of this, I know that next year, I'll be able to take anything that comes my way. I will be strong. I will take care of myself, and it's all thanks to this last year.
Year of Hell...you may have kicked my ass but because of you, I wouldn't be who I am today.
So thank you...you shit bag of a year.
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