My anxiety tells me that things have to be perfect.
Vacations have to be planned to the minute. Parties have to have every detail planned out.
Otherwise, things will be disastrous….or so I think.
When hosting an event, I will think of every little thing that can go wrong and will drive myself crazy making sure I have all the answers.
My anxiety tells me that my friends don’t like me.
If my text messages don’t get responded to right away, I think someone is mad at me.
If I’m the last one to arrive at a party, I think they spent every moment until I got there talking about me.
I feel I have to be at my best, because they won’t love me if they saw my worst.
My anxiety tells me that I have to be the best at my job.
I’m afraid to delegate because it means admitting that I’ve taken on too much. That is also coupled with the fear that it won’t be done correctly if I’m not the one doing it.
I get nervous every time I go into my bosses office, thinking of every tiny infraction that I’ve done, scared that it would be enough to get me fired.
Did I take too long of a break? Am I out of dress code? Is there some mistake that I don’t know I made that will cost the company thousands of dollars?
These are the kind of thoughts I have in the 20 seconds it takes to walk from my desk to my boss’s.
My anxiety tells me not to ask for help.
People will think less of me if I can’t do everything on my own.
No one cares enough about me to help me, even if I did ask.
I’m not good enough. I’m not worthy.
My anxiety tells me lies, and every day it’s a fight not to believe them.
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