This is the kind of moment in life that nothing can prepare you for. No amount of school, life experience or wisdom could help you be ready for the rollercoaster that hearing your mother has only months to a year to live will throw at you.
I remember sitting in the hospital room hearing the doctor explain that cancer had spread to multiple organs throughout her body.
I was hearing it, but it wasn’t sitting in. I wasn’t processing it. Turns out, it took me weeks to actually comprehend the horrible news that I just heard.
It just kind of stops you dead in your tracks. Like a deer in headlights, you are frozen. The world is happening around you but your life is standing still. How on earth are you supposed to prepare for this?
How on earth are you supposed to know how to live an ordinary life knowing that any of the upcoming days during the next few months could be the end of your mom’s life?
How are you supposed to enjoy the moments spent with your family knowing that this could possibly be the last time you get to do this?
Every moment I spend with my mom could be the last. Any time could be the last time, that my mom and I get to do this together.
This can not actually be real. There is no way I can emotionally handle this.
Am I still supposed to go to school and work and pretend this isn’t happening?
Do I have to socialize with my friends and listen to them talk about their mom’s and plan things with their mom’s while there is a good chance I won’t ever get to plan anything with mine again?
This has got to be some sick kind of nightmare. There is no way this is happening to me. This was NOT supposed to be my life.
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Also, here are some great resources for anyone who has lost a mother