There are no happy endings because endings are the saddest part.
Every goodbye rips my heart from my chest. Every time I think I can't cry anymore, another tear falls.
Some days I wonder if I will ever stop grieving a person who is still living. Our story isn't unlike many others, I suppose…
I wanted you to fight for me and you weren't ready to go to battle. I needed you to stay but you wanted to roam free.
Regardless of how or why it happened, the fact is I'm left to deal with your absence now. I am left to tie up the loose ends and close the chapter all on my own. And I'm not ready for that.
I never wanted you to go away.
It's funny how you are freed by our separation and I am bound by it. I am sad and I am lost, you are carefree. I wish nothing but the best for you, but I also wish the best for myself.
I want to feel as liberated as I should. I want to wake up and not miss you. I want to never have said goodbye.
You said you were sorry when we parted, but you were only sorry that I was sad. You weren't sorry to see me go. And I think that's why I'm stuck here in this goodbye: I'm mourning for both of us. I'm crying the tears you aren't, I'm feeling the anger you don't have.
I am learning to disconnect myself from a person who was never connected to me. I am learning to accept that goodbyes are an unhappy part of life.
I am also learning that life goes on, an ending creates the opportunity for a new beginning. Just as the sun sets every night, it rises every morning. The end of a day isn't the end of life.
And the end of this relationship isn't the end of my happiness. I will rise again, I will start a new chapter, and I will find a beautiful new beginning.
For more from rc, visit her writer's page here.