I wondered why love made people so crazy but that was until the day I met you.
Just our eyes meeting makes me smile, but not just any smile. A genuine smile of pure happiness. A happiness I never experience until I met you. The feeling is so intoxicating, I fall madly in love with him all over again every time I see him.
He could say the stupidest thing and it would leave me breathless. A simple text from him would have me smiling all day. I just love the thought of being on his mind. All the little things he does give me life and reason.
Before him, I couldn’t comprehend why life was worth living. Now, I look forward to getting up every morning because it means sharing my life with him.
Things were going great or so I thought they were. I got so caught up idealizing our relationship that I didn’t see how his heart was slowly drifting away from mine. I was paying attention of the obvious signs showing that we are no longer on the same page. Things aren’t right, he doesn’t want to commit. He keeps saying it isn’t his thing, and that can only mean that his feelings towards me are fading.
I should walk away, leave him and never look back. But, he already has me all wrapped around his finger. He has already broken down my walls and has my heart in his hands.
Sometimes I am tempted to walk away because deep inside I understand that it’s just not healthy to keep loving someone this much and not getting the same in return. But I just keep thinking that I will never find someone just like him, and the amount of love that he gives me seems to be enough to fulfill my heart, but, Is it?
I am too vulnerable right now, I don’t want to know what life is like without him. I know that I deserve someone who will commit to me and only me.
Every time I try to move on, he kind of shows me that he cares, but at this point, it feels like he should feel and love harder. To this day he has a way of getting in my head, a way no one else does. I will never be able to comprehend how he has such a strong pull on me.
Some days the lack of commitment in our relationship brings me pain. Other days, I realize that it is our relationship that is keeping me sane but only momentarily.
It may not be perfect, but to me, the pain I'm feeling right now is less than the pain I'm going to feel without him.