I know I am a handful 87% of the time. You might rethink being with me often and what it is about me that makes you feel like it’ll all be worth it. With my constant worrying and freaking out, I don’t blame you.
But believe me when I say that I’m worth it. I’m worth all the shit I put you through. I’m worth loving and investing all your time and energy in.
I love you with all of my heart and I'm sorry I am making you work so hard.
Know that I trust you, even though I’ve built walls that sometimes feel like no matter how hard you try, aren’t coming down. There has been so much in my past that I feel like creeps up during my happiest moments and haunts me. So it's inevitable that everytime I feel comfortable, I start worrying or creating faulty scenarios in my mind.
Please just be patient with me.
Promise me that you won’t get frustrated or annoyed. Understand that all of my worries come from loving and caring for you so much. All I truly want is for us to work out and be happy.
I know I'm the easiest person to love. I know my heart can be hard to understand.
There are tons of things that are constantly weighing on my mind. Like what I did wrong in past relationships, the types of guys I was with, the words they said to me, and so much more.
I've always struggled with talking about my feelings and expressing them in all the right ways. I've been hurt so much in my past and have had countless people walk out, including the people who I trusted and loved the most.
I’m not used to feeling good enough. I’m used to feeling insecure, used, replaceable, and worthless. And I have a ton of people to thank for that.
You put up with me even though I can be the most complicated person in the world. You make me feel beautiful, important, smart, and most importantly, loved. I promise you, one day it will all make sense and all of the effort and time you put it in will all be worth it.
So please just be patient, because I really do love you.