When I first started dating him we both had said we didn’t want to rush anything, we wanted to take it slow. I thought this was the right approach to a new relationship after everything I’ve dealt with the last few years when it comes to guys. And I could tell he was in the same boat as I was. Burnt one too many times and burnt out from trying over and over again.
I understood where both of us were coming from in the beginning of things, but the more I spent time with him, grew closer to him, learned who he was inside, the more I realized maybe I didn’t want to take this so slow.
Everyone around me always talks about how no one should rush into relationships but why do they determine the status of how my relationship is moving? I don’t mean to sound like the girl who cried wolf but he is so different to the point it is unbelievable. It’s made me feel ridiculous for even thinking that in my head for awhile because I feel like I always see the brightness inside people in the beginning but there truly is something different about him. I just can’t pinpoint what it is.
I just don’t know anymore if I want to take thing slowly because my emotions inside aren’t going slowly. If anything, taking things slowly is making me pull back from what I say around him because I feel like my heart is moving faster than my feet sometimes. I don’t want to have to keep telling my heart to chill out. I want to embrace the way my heart is reacting to this situation and share it.
But everytime I get close to possibly telling him some of the deeper emotions going on within my heart, I chicken out because I remember him saying he wanted to take things slow. And that little part of me that always worries people will leave reminds me that telling him my emotions may make him do just that.
I just feel stuck currently. I don’t want to rush anything but I also don’t want to hold back anything either. So what if others say it’s too soon or hold your horses? I don’t understand why they are determining my relationship or my feelings. I just need to find a way to overcome the societal pressure I feel inside when it comes to this.
The big question I’m dealing with is simply how? And what do I tell him?