I've spent the majority, if not all of my life, looking for more. More space, more love, more... feeling. In my search for more, I began to lose what I already had.
I forgot all the simple things about myself. I didn't even know what I was trying to find after a certain point. It was like walking around in a pitch black room with my arms stretched out, never finding the wall.
I jumped from person to person thinking someone had the answer, the missing piece to my being. I didn't give up on life, but I had no desire to continue. I became a zombie, struggling through my daily routine of school and life.
More than anything, I was a robot. I laughed when others laughed. I listened when others spoke but I stopped contributing myself.
I've always been a work in progress. I was a shattered piece of art that I had to learn to put back together. I created new lines and cracks in my soul that held all of my strength and secrets, and everyone frowned upon the roadmap of work.
You didn't. You decided to drive.
You've taken me along with you, all over my body and mind. I stopped looking for the missing piece of myself, and in my aimless, pitch-black wandering, I found the wall. I found you.
I've lived my whole life wanting something, but everything that came to me wasn't what I needed, no matter how much I wanted it to be.
You've taken me for a ride that I never want to get off of. You've taken me through my day to day life, casting light in all the places I needed it. You've traced my mind and memories loving everything I have to offer and understanding the things I don't.
My messy hair and wacky eating habits are more than enough. My jokes and scattered thoughts are more than enough. You are the first person to make me finally feel more than enough.
You didn't reinvent me, you just sped up the process. You pushed forward the work I had already done on myself, sweeping away the dirt of others. You told me you found the honesty in my eyes so refreshing, and I found the love in your words calming. You didn't aggravate the storm inside me but calmed the chaos that I was drowning in.
I didn't know what you were doing until I realized that waking up without you next to me would be more painful than any of the shattering I've gone through. You allow me to close my eyes and breathe.
Your soul, your mind... you looking at me allowed me to accept all the things you adore. In watching you become captivated by my mind, you taught me to love the things you see.
Tangled mess that I am, you still opened your beautiful world to me- teaching me to love the things you've unconditionally accepted.
You haven't tried to change who I am, yet I've changed in so many beautiful ways. I've opened up to the world we occupy, becoming the fierce force I was born to be.
I could say thank you for so many things, but I just want to say thank you for teaching me to love myself when I was forgetting how to.