Dating apps are hella stressful and hella entertaining at the same time.
Sitting down to relax after a long day of work with a glass of wine and your favorite dating app (or apps, if we’re being totally honest) is a great way to wind down and have a little low commitment fun.
Dating apps are a shitshow. How many Tinder profiles have you seen that have the EXACT SAME BIO? Why are all of the guys HOLDING FISH? Do these guys really have no interests but HUNTING?
And so we drink when…
A guy has no bio whatsoever
The only thing in his bio is that he “likes to travel”
His bio says “I’m never on here so message me on kik if we match”
Someone says they’re “not looking for casual hookups” on Tinder
He’s “looking for something real”
There’s a Myers Briggs Personality type in the bio (i.e. ENTP or ISFJ)
His bio complains that “girls never message first”
The guy is holding a fish in his photo
He’s posing with some kind of dead animal (i.e. deer)
There’s commentary on the fish/dead animal in his bio
His bio comments on how much he “loves fishing and hunting”
All of his photos are group shots
You can’t tell which guy he is in any of the photos
He’s clearly obsessed with his fraternity
His bio says, “Bros before hoes”
There’s a photo of him with a girl
There’s multiple photos of him with the same girl
His bio says, “That’s my sister, not my girlfriend”
You can see a wedding ring in one of his photos
You know the guy in real life
You also know that he definitely has a girlfriend
He says that “we can lie about where we met”
His photos include at least one with a baby
He makes sure you know “that isn’t his baby”
His entire bio is emojis
He includes at least one mirror selfie
There’s at least one shirtless photo
You want to vomit after reading a bio
By the time you polish off that bottle of wine, you’re ready to quit dating apps forever.
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