Losing a family member isn't ever easy, it's more like having an annoying lump in your throat that never goes away -- you just can't swallow it. The days go by and time gets longer, but does the pain of losing you ever go away?
No. The answer is no.
The pain and heartbreak of losing someone dear to you never fades away, instead, each passing day becomes an opportunity to learn how to adjust.
It doesn't get easier, you simply just get stronger.
You think you've reached the point where you think you're strong enough to finally continue your journey through life, but then, like a train, the feelings flood every vessel in your body.
The holidays slowly approach and your mind is on so many different emotional pathways that you begin to wonder if you should just throw in the towel and let the good Lord above take all control.
You simply just don't know how to go on anymore.
Everyone around you is surrounding you with love, yet somehow that doesn't seem to be enough. As the days draw nearer, the seconds drag on. Thinking about spending the holidays without you is a thought you wish was nonexistent.
All the family traditions that you've spent your whole life knowing are hardly hanging on by a thread anymore. The sight of these traditions slowly coming to an end is a vision you'll do anything to erase.
Altering family traditions is never an easy pill to swallow, but you do what it takes to keep bits and pieces of the tradition alive.
Tears flood your eyes throughout various moments in the day, and cracking a smile becomes harder to do. You try and act like you're okay and that you're hanging in there, but it's written all over your face.
You aren't fooling anybody -- and that's okay.
As Christmas day approaches, the aching in your heart intensifies, and composing yourself to cope with the missing piece in your heart becomes nearly impossible.
But as Christmas day comes around, just remember that you aren't alone and you can only get stronger. You have so much love surrounding you and that will never go away. Don't lose hope, it will get better.
After all, the missing piece in your heart isn't an empty hole but rather an angel watching over you.
She hasn't left us, she's just flying around taking a break.