“Our parting was like a stalemate…. Neither of us won. Yet both of us lost. And worse still … that unshakable feeling that nothing was ever really finished.” – Ranata Suzuki
Break ups aren't always meant for make ups. Sometime relationship end in order for you to wake up.
I wish break ups were like just waking up from a bad dream and realizing it was just a dream and not a reality. Break ups are instant but moving on for good might take a few weeks, a few months, or even a year sometimes.
So how do all of these lovely ladies successfully get over their exes? Mostly by doing one minor thing.
Not talking to them.
I know, I know. It’s not the “thoughtful way” to handle the situation.
Experts across the board are coming out in support of being cordial with exes. Get over it! they say. Be grownups! Ditch the pettiness!
But you know what? Not speaking to an ex to get over a breakup really works.
Before I discuss more, I will give one exceptions to this rule.
First, if you two have children together, then it’s crucial to remain friendly. Co-parenting and keeping a united front for the sake of the child(ren) is highly encouraged and is most likely the best option for the family.
Also, If you can safely say that both of you are completely over the other, then all right. You’re free to skip the rest and hop on to the next article.
For the rest of you… here are the most important reasons why you should not talk to your ex while dealing with a breakup:
1. You Maintain the Connection
Best strategy is ,when the past calls, let it go to the voicemail. It has got nothing new to say.
Breakups are like taking a roller coaster ride. Sometimes they blindside you, and sometimes they hang on for dear life, torturing you until the breaking point.
Continuously texting, seeing, or speaking to an ex is holding onto a ghost of the relationship.
The relationship is over. It doesn't exist. So maintaining it only invests time and energy into something that didn’t work out.
2. You Erase Progress
The only thing that makes your ex a part of your life is that you keep thinking about it.
So you probably already know that communication isn’t a good idea. Because that’s the second you lose most of your progress.
It’s so easy. You send a text here, a photo there, and all of a sudden you are knee-deep into into old patterns!
Eventually one of you will realize that this pattern isn’t healthy. Getting back together isn’t happening, and there really isn’t a point to all this chatting. So then you have to start moving on….again.
Don’t do this to yourself. Give yourself the space and time you need to fully move forward. Once you’re in a better place, then you can rekindle any kind of platonic friendship you’d like.
3. It Gives False Hope
The relationship ended for a solid reason. It didn’t just run its course — there was a firm, legitimate reason the two of you couldn’t reach the next level.
So, when you two communicate like nothing ever happened, it creates a sense of falsehood.
You get wrapped up into old rhythms, old memories, old feelings.
Just like there was a reason for the breakup — there was a reason for the relationship.
You two obviously had a strong connection at some point, and it’s difficult to erase that feeling completely. It’s entirely too easy to forget why the relationship ended and remember why it started.
Don’t leave a trail of breadcrumbs right into the lion’s den when you KNOW it is almost impossible to get out alive.
4. You Block Other Opportunities
I am not advising you to go on to your next potential straight away. Take time to heal. But when you think you are ready : Be ready.