You didn't anticipate this. Not even in your dreams you imagined that you'll be the one calling it quits. You didn’t mean for it to end like this. You didn’t mean to be so insensitive.
But you ended things. You did the unimaginable. And you broke the heart of the person that you deeply care for.
The process of ending a relationship you nurtured for so long starts off very slowly. You don’t notice yourself becoming more distant. More quiet.
You don’t notice yourself slowly withdrawing, and aiming towards a dead end. This happens on a subconscious level.
But they notice. They notice you backing away. They notice the conversations that no more stem from your heart. They are merely words that you utter to keep things flowing.
They notice how you keep shrugging of their kind gestures and how your eyes are empty of any warmth. That you stopped being available. They notice it all.
I know you can’t explain this. I know you used to love them deeply. At one point you were happy with them. You really thought they were ‘The One'. And in the beginning of this relationship all you thought that how eternally happy you'll be with them.
You pictured to spend your entire life with them. And you thought that as you read the pages of your " relationship saga", the end will be happily ever after.
But months and years passed, and their magic started to disappear.
And you stopped loving them, like they loved you.
It’s not their fault. They didn’t do anything wrong. But one day, you lost the excitement for them. You can’t explain it.
Maybe life came in between. Or maybe your goals started to drift apart. Maybe the conversations failed to ignite the spark anymore. You can't pinpoint why you stopped loving them.
But the truth is, there is no explanation. There is no logical reason. It just is what love does sometimes. It turns to tears. It turns to blank stares. And it turns to scars and wounds.
So you ended it.
They were a precious part of your life. . .But, for reasons that you will never be able to understand, you couldn’t keep up with loving them with all your heart.
In your heart, you know that they deserve the love that you wouldn't be able to give them. Not anymore.
It gives you immense pain to see a flame that had burned so brightly before, is now just embers. You wish you could explain yourself. You wish you had an answer better than “it just doesn't feel right”.
But, no one can really explain love. Because while it is expansive and infinite, it can also flicker, and it can cease to burn.
Because falling in and out of love is as cyclical as the tides of ocean. It is up to you to decide when to ride and when to slide.