Recently, I was reading through the screenshots of the messages we shared before. It hurts a lot to see how we started things in the right direction and ended up in a wrong turn.
We had high hopes, promises of seeing each other, and patience to stick around. I know that what we shared with one another was real.
I know we have decided to call it quits. And the situation we’re in has forced you to believe that love is dead. Even though I deny my feelings a million times, even though I pushed you away, I’d still love you like I did before.
You see, for most of human history, long-distance relationships have been impossible to sustain due to travel reasons alone.
The internet age has made it much more feasible, but as I found out with our relationship, romance and relationships are a different beast when miles separate you. During most of our conversations, there are whole swaths of human interaction we're not privy to.
Distance can be terrifying because you truly don’t know whether or not the person will ache for you, or simply forget you.
I longed for your touch, to hear you breathe heavily beside me as you sleep, to have your arm slide over me in the middle of the night and pull me closer.
I wished you were by my side for the little things, like your favorite TV show or late-night burger run. I spent my nights wondering what you are doing, how you are adjusting, whether or not I am fading from your memory.
With this, frustrations and disappointments creep in. We started becoming impatient. We started feeling hopeless.
We feel like we have already wasted a lot of time hoping for something that wouldn’t even come. There’s a lot of drama that has happened. The tension between us is heating up like a ball of fire.
All we did was wait for the right time. Eventually, all that’s left was patience gone wrong. For that, I’m sorry because I’ve caused you too much trouble. I’m sorry if I somehow got in the way of achieving the life that you want.
I hope I didn’t. We had some good quality time together. So I guess this shall end here–the drama and the roller coaster ride we both enjoyed (and got tired from).
I’d rather say that you should stay. You should’ve stayed. But I’d be selfish if I say those words. After all, I believe you already have the life that you wanted and I have no place in it. That’s better. I’ve always wanted the best for you, anyway.