It wasn’t fair of me to ask you to stand by me through all of that, but you did. Because you are something special. You are what true friends look like.
I should have listened to you.
But I was so convinced this was just a phase he was going through. I was convinced the old him I had met that fateful day was who he truly was.
And I know I promised this wasn’t who he really is. That the time we spent together, just us two, he treated me a little kinder.
But maybe I was wrong.
True friends protect you even when you push them away and that's exactly what you did.
You gave me advice and had my back, but let me also learn and grow from the experience, all while you stood tall by my side.
He would tear apart every piece of who I am, multiple times, and you took a step back and let me realize on my own it was not healthy.
You watched him throw harsh words my way in an attempt to make me feel ashamed and degraded. Manipulating every bump in the road to make it seem like it was always my fault.
But you didn't criticize me for staying with him. You gave me the time to realize what toxic actually means so I would never let it happen again.
I know you felt something bad in your gut when things started to turn sour. You saw the change before I even wanted to acknowledge it.
I’m sorry I got upset every time you were just trying to make sure I knew what I was getting myself into.
Thanks to you guys, I realized every time he twisted my words and put me down and tried to make me feel bad about doing something was who he really is. The other him was just a façade to get my attention.
Now, I know you are still going to roll your eyes every time I say I miss him. I know you are constantly going to question how I could possibly have feelings for the douchiest douchelord of all time. But I do.
I do because I saw the small bits of him that weren’t so ugly. I do because just like any heartbreak, I feel like I lost something.
I feel like I lost a part of myself while waiting for him to go back to his old self.
But I promise I can get through this because you are with me. Making sure I don’t fall back into him.
You are there helping me pick up the pieces while not throwing more than a couple “I told you so’s” in my ears.
I love you for that.
Plus, who really needs a boy if you’ve got friends like I do?
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