There was a time where I would have done anything to be the girl that you chose.
The one that you gave all of your time and attention to. The one that got all of the compliments and made you decide you wanted to commit.
The girl that is always depicted in the movies as the one that makes the bad boy change into this incredible, good man that was always there all along.
I tried and tried. I did everything I could think of. I tried to be the girl that I thought you were looking for.
Even my altered and edited version of myself wasn't enough for you.
And, that's because it was never going to matter. I could proclaim my love for you from the rooftops and make a fool of myself. I could pay attention to every detail about you and be perfect for you on paper and still not make the cut.
Nothing that I would ever do would be enough for you...because I was never going to be enough for you.
And, at first that hurt more than anything. It made my self-esteem bottom out and it made me wonder what was so wrong with me that you couldn't even bother to give me a chance. But, then I realized that this is just how love goes sometimes.
The worst and most painful human experience may just be unrequited love. The answer is so obvious yet so painful to come to terms with. I fell in love with you, but you didn't fall in love with me back. I'm going to be nursing this broken heart for an incredibly long time when it never phased you at all.
That's the hardest part. It's knowing that the impact you had on me is not the same impact I had on you. It's thinking that I was never worth a second thought and knowing that you aren't in the same pain as I am.
Although this makes me feel like I want to be bitter and angry with you, I know that the truth of the matter is this: sometimes love is just going to hurt.
Sometimes you just fall in love with the wrong person.
That's exactly what I did. I fell in love with you even though I knew you wouldn't be there to catch me. But, I realize now that even though I wasn't the one for you, I know that I am going to be the one for someone else.
My worth is not decided by one failed relationship. Because it failed for a reason: it was never supposed to be you and me. That's the beauty of destiny.
Even in the haze of heartbreak, I know that there is something better out there for me.