It’s been months since we, or should I say you, called it quits on our friendship. Honestly, looking back, it feels like I’m watching two different people because I know we’ve both changed from those girls we used to be.
Those two girls in the past we're stuck together like glue. There was no separating them. It was like their minds just worked together as one.
It feels like another lifetime where our worlds were intertwined as one.
Isn’t it weird how that can happen? In a matter of months, it feels like I’m living in a whole different world. I feel like we're both two completely changed people.
But as distant as those memories feel, the scars you left still ache every once in awhile. Those scars never let me forget that they're always going to be a part of who I am, and they never let me forget about the friendship that once meant the world to me.
The same friendship you walked away from.
Things still happen, and I know in the past we'd be laughing about them, and sometimes it’s just instinctual for me to grab my phone to text you and tell you. But I stop myself every time.
And I’ve come to terms with the fact that those scars will never stop aching, and never stop reminding me of the pain I was stuck with when you bailed on our friendship.
There will never come a day where I can forget that feeling of betrayal. I can never forget all the nights I spent crying because my "best friend" decided that one day she was just going to stop caring about me.
And because of that, there will never come a day where I’m able to give you a second chance.
As much as I miss you, and as much as no friendship will ever be the same as ours, it’s not enough to make up for the hell you put me through in our past.
Nothing can ever be enough to make me ready to try to mend our friendship.
Because of you, I’ve learned the difference between missing something, and wanting it back.
I definitely do miss you, from time to time. How could I not?
But I will never be desperate enough to want your flaky friendship back in my life. I will never be in a place where your friendship is the better option for me.
Honestly? I'd rather have no friends at all than unpredictable ones like you.
So you go live your life, and I’ll live mine,
And in an ideal world we’ll both be happy without each other. I'll honestly be fine if we never contact each other again.
But if the day comes where you realize you messed up when you let go of our friendship,
Don’t you dare come crawling back to me.
I do forgive you...
But I will never forget our past and I moved on from your friendship a long time ago.