You try not to think about him every minute of every day, but it's still impossible. Because random memories pop into your mind way too often. Whether it’s a thing or a smell that reminds you of him, they all bring back good memories.
It would make it a little easier to stop loving him if you could actually remind yourself of all the crap he put you through. After all he's nothing but a douche who took advantage of your heart in the worst ways possible, like...
All of the times he put you last and made you feel like you were always the problem. Or when he pointed out your flaws and made you feel crazy and worthless.
But it’s not that simple because when you were together, all you ever did was make excuses for his terrible behavior. Which made you, sadly, immune to it being as bad as it really was.
By you not acknowledging how bad he was treating you, it started to become less and less of a big deal.
So now you're stuck somehow thinking the same way because it’s shameful and painful to admit that someone has hurt you. But it's not your fault. You really loved him. You did everything right in the relationship while he did everything wrong.
The difference between you and him is you're a good person while he isn't. You made it a point to try and salvage a relationship because you believed in love.
You should be proud of yourself for trying to let him go. Just because you know he doesn't deserve you, doesn’t mean unloving him is going to be easy. It just means your heart needs a bit longer to heal.
So make sure you’re mindful of your emotions. Do everything in your power to make yourself feel better because all you need is time for the feeling for him to fade away.
But trust that those feelings will disappear and that your heart will be free. It will come slowly at first, but one day you will wake up and notice you didn't have to cry yourself to sleep. And when that day comes, be proud of yourself as it’ll show that you’re stronger than you’ll ever imagine you will be.
So before you start judging yourself for still loving someone who hurt you deeply, remember that it's a process. It's a process of finding yourself as well as your worth and one day you will realize it was all worth the pain.
Especially, because you will find someone so much better and so much more worthy of you!