Why is this so hard?
I don't know why telling you my inner feelings has been so painful to express. But I feel like if I just say them, if I can just get them off my chest and out of my head, I'll be able to accept the fact that you're never coming back.
I loved you. No, I still do love you. I'll probably spend the remainder of my life loving you, and wishing I could turn it off. You came into my life at a moment when I needed someone, and falling for you was never supposed to be part of the plan.
I never wanted to be with you, but you chased me. You pushed me into letting go of my fears and taking a leap of faith with you.
And it kills me inside because if you hadn't, I would be just fine right now.
We had something so beautiful, that is, until you went and torched it all. I would've spent the rest of my life loving you, letting go of my fears and insecurities, and being everything and more to you. But you got it in your head that I wasn't worth it.
And so you threw me away like I meant nothing. You painted a picture of me that was so far from reality. You made me think so lowly of myself.
That hurts. It always will. I wish I could regret everything. I wish I could say that I wish I never met you, but I can't.
And even though I hate what you've made me feel, at one point in time you were exactly what I needed so I can't regret you. But I'll never forgive you for taking the last bit of belief I had in love and happiness.
You tore it to shreds.