I got into a relationship with a broken man. A man who couldn't fully love himself, who guilt himself, who overall just hurt himself with all the thoughts and voices in his head. But I just knew from the beginning, he will be worth it.
Now, you're probably imagining how hard it is to love and be with a recovering addict and you're probably thinking it would be really hard.... NOW, take that and multiply it by 10.
Dating an addict is one of the hardest things I've gone through,but by far the best thing I have gone through as well.
It's definitely the hardest thing I've gone through because not only am I arguing with my loved one a lot, but as a non-addict, I can't completely understand him, the way he thinks, the way he acts, nothing.
On the other-hand, it is by far the best thing I've gone through,and continue going through because my mind, my view and my spirit is changing so much. Everyday, I learn many different things from how an addict lives to how I think and view things.
I'm going to be honest to all of you, being in a relationship with an addict is so fucking hard, but it is also so beneficial and worth it.. especially when you love them.
Now, for those who are wondering what the hell you could learn from being in a relationship with a recovering alcoholic drug-addict; let me tell you what I personally learned.
I learned that what they really, truly need is support. The bigger the support system, the better for them. I also learned that delusional thoughts are so real and it can truly get the best of the addict, but that's also where I learned that when the addict(in this case, my boyfriend) goes through those points where has delusional thoughts, I just have to sit there, stay quite and let him call his sponsor and give him the time to crawl out of his delusional thoughts and calm down.
I also learned that I shouldn't take everything the wrong way.. a.k.a. the way anyone would take it, because the way the addict thinks and expresses himself is completely different than a non-addict. I also learned that there is going to be a lot of ups but a SHIT TON of downs.....
My advice to those who are in relationships with addicts or recovering addicts, or are second guessing whether being with an addict is a match-maker or a deal-breaker... is don't give up on yourself no matter what the circumstance is or what you choose.
Being with an addict teaches you so much and makes you view life so differently, but in such a great way. But, don't forget to focus on your health as well if you are planning to stick by it.
Because in order for you to be there and help your loved one, it WILL take a lot out of you, and if you don't stay true to yourself as well you will drain yourself, mentally and emotionally, and most importantly, you WILL lose yourself.
I, fell in love with an addict... but my addict is my home, my world and my one and only happy place. So yes, I am extremely thankful for my addict and I love him for exactly that.