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What It's Like to Lose a Friend

We've all had those friends; you know, the ones you could talk to about everything. The ones who would let you know when you're making the right choices and when you're being completely out of line. That type of friend is the kind you want to find and keep forever, but that's not always an option. Life gets in the way sometimes, especially as we grow older. I'm not saying it's a good excuse, but we all know that it happens. We have kids, jobs, school, and the next thing you know, it's been over a month since the last time you talked to your best friend. I know a friend isn't someone you see or talk to everyday, but it's hard to maintain a real friendship throughout your life when you know you're not trying as hard as you could. In my 26 years of life, I've lost more friends than I can count on one hand, and I've cried over every last one of them. But it's not the sadness that gets me the most (even though it sucks like no other), but it's the guilt of not being there for them when I could have been. Every friend I've lost has been, at one point in life, considered my best friend. That person I could call at 2am when I wanted to go for a drive just to get out of my house. That person I could call at 2pm because I wanted to have lunch and a margarita. That person I could call at any time of the day (or night) just because I wanted to say hey. And then they're gone. Just like that, you wake up to the horrific news that your person is no longer alive. And let me tell you, it's one of the most shitty feelings you could ever feel. See, the loss of a friend changes you, but 9 times out of 10, it's too late. Sure, you can still call up other friends and mend whatever has been broken, fix your friendship, and spend more time with them. But once a person is gone for good, you can never get that chance again, and that's what hurts the most.