From the moment we broke up, I knew in my heart that it was the right decision for both of us.
I never doubted that we needed to end things, but knowing something is the right thing to do doesn't make me wanna do it and it definitely doesn't stop me from wishing you were here.
Sometimes when I think of you, I get caught up in the 'what if's.' I know we were never right for each other, but missing you is a hard habit to break.
I catch myself thinking what it would be like if things hadn't ended; how happy we'd be if we both had just tried a little bit harder.
But then I have to shake myself back to reality and think about all of your glaring flaws that tore us apart instead of just the good times.
I try to remind myself why I had to leave you. I'm in a constant battle with my mind, trying to stop replaying our happiest memories. I do my best to focus on your worst moments and how terrible you made me feel instead.
I think about the person you actually are, the one who left me in tears more times than I can count, and do absolutely everything I can to forget about the guy I wanted you to be. That's the only way I can move on from this toxic mess we're wrapped up in.
I tell myself I’m better off alone than with you (or anyone else who'd treat me like you did.)
Still, there's always going to be a part of me with your name written on it because I gave you my whole heart. We both know you'd be lying if you said the same.
You were mean and selfish, you never cared about me even half as much as I cared for you. You just used me when it was convenient and ignored me when it wasn't.
You refused to accept my love but you didn't want me to give it to anyone else either. You thought you could keep me hanging on by a thread and I wouldn't find the strength to leave, but I finally did.
Leaving you was the bravest thing I've ever done. I'm proud that I was able to walk away from your hollow 'love,' I just wish I'd done it sooner.
Because getting away from you, from us, was the best decision I made during our entire relationship; I've never been more certain of anything.
I just can't wait for the day when my heart catches up to my head and I can finally stop looking back.