To be honest, I didn't think I'd fall this hard for you.
As much as I want to swallow my pride and tell you how much you hurt me when you ended our relationship. I cant seem to do so. Everyday I fight the urge to text you or call you. I have to remind myself that if you wanted to speak to me you would..
Sometimes I wonder if you ever think about us as much as I do. I mean, I sit up in bed hours on end thinking about it, thinking about us, thinking about the times we had together. It’s always in the back of my mind.
I have so many things I wish I could just say to you but I know I will never get the chance to, so I just put them down on paper and hope one day I have the nerve to send them to you.
I just want you to know that I miss you, I really, really miss you.
I never thought it was possible to care this about someone who just gave up. I thought it was just a show people put on, the whole “We were perfect together and in love then he left me, now I'm heartbroken.” There's usually events that lead up to this, but for us it was just one weekend that lead you to walk away. Now that I stand here broken I realize everything I miss, I took for granted.
I miss the way you use to stare/admire me.
I miss receiving good morning texts, since we both knew I'd be running late for work.
I miss your goofy work hat.
I miss your half smirk smile.
I miss how you made me feel like the most beautiful girl in that world.
I miss our date nights.
I miss driving in the car and finding songs we had in common.
I miss taco nights with you.
I miss binge watch Netflix shows with you.
I miss all the laughter you brought to my life.
I miss our late night/all day conversations.
I miss you for being the person I turned to for absolutely everything.
I miss the way you would light up a room when you talked about your love for cologne.
I miss your smile, specially the ones I brought to your face.
I miss your voice.
I miss the way you would hold me at night.
I miss your body heat.
I miss playing with your hair, making sure it was in place.
I miss the way you would kiss me.
I miss you for the way you motivated me to be better.
I miss the love and support we had from our families.
I miss you. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second of the day.
You were the one who saved me. You helped me grow, you made me realize what I deserved. You were my hero in disguise, a prince charming in real life, that held the biggest place in my heart.
But most of all, I miss you for the little things. The times our finger intertwined and you ran your fingers through my hair. But every time we got a little closer to you leaving, I knew I was racing again the clock. You were the hourglass that I never wanted to run out, but had to face out time was going to be up soon.
So if you would ask me how much I miss you, there is no simple answer. It's every little moment, ever little thing, everything you do, that will forever be in my heart.