The intense feeling of apprehension an anxious person feels can be debilitating to the point where you really have to take care of yourself, even more so than others. So don’t feel insecure when they say they’d like to be alone. It’s not you, it really is them.
They want you to understand their “personal” days.
They love spending time with you, they really do. It’s just that they need time alone to gather their racing thoughts. They want to make sure they’re alright, so they can be alright around you.
They want you to support them, not discipline them.
When you watch them break down and succumb to that anxiety attack, it can be so easy to give them advice on what they can do to get better.
Resist that temptation because it’s important to them that you know you’re their lover, not their therapist.
At that moment when their heart is pounding, the chest is in pain, and their lungs are hot and tight, they don’t want to talk, they want to be held. Nothing is more relaxing than your comfort.
Let them worry about you.
Don’t tell them to stop worrying about you, instead reassure them that you’ll be fine.
It’s tempting to tell them not to worry about you, but honestly, there’s no point. Worrying about you is one of the many ways they show their love because they care about you and they don’t want anything bad to happen to you.
But alas, anxious thoughts won’t let them go. You cough and for them, that means cancer. You come a few minutes late, and to them, that means you almost got hit by a bus. They know it’s irrational but they really can’t help it.
Love them gently.
Take your time loving them because they really love you. They may not show it, but they do. The thing is they’re fighting to take their lives back from anxiety. They’re healing from all the pain it’s caused.
Be gentle when you hug them because they’re fragile even when they’re strong.
